Travel Hacks

 

  My brother Bill and his wife Wendy stopped by last month in their Winnebago Minnie. It's a cozy RV containing everything a person would need during an extended period away from home. It even has a shower. It would be tempting to buy a camper and hit the road. Maybe we'll rent one to see if we like it. 

  I think for now we'll stick to motels while on the road. Motels have showers too and we always check the ratings to make sure there are no complaints about weak water pressure. There's nothing like a long hot shower after a day on the road.

  Bill told us that after setting up in a campground in Nebraska one evening, they got a report of a tornado headed their way. They immediately broke camp and headed diagonally away from the path of the storm. They eventually settled in a campground fifty miles down the road. It was free which eased the sting of no refund at the previous place.

  Once Teresa and I settle in a motel for the night, we're not moving, though we will switch rooms if the tv doesn't work or the beds haven't been made. I've seen news reports of motels flattened by tornadoes, but an RV is even more vulnerable, so we hunker down in the breakfast nook till we get the all clear.

  Bill showed me the improvements he had made to their camper. He had installed latches to prevent the drawers from sliding open when going around corners. Why hadn't Winnebago thought of this? Hadn't the previous owner been annoyed by drawers flying open? I will say my brother has always liked speed.

  I too have come up with  hacks to make travel more pleasant. I like our motel room to be dark at night, but sometimes the room curtains won't overlap and the security lights in the parking lot light up our room. A simple chip bag clip solves this problem. The room can also be too dark. It's dangerous stumbling around a strange room in search of the bathroom, so I pack a nightlight for the bathroom to guide us to safe harbor. There's the problem of remembering to take the clip and nightlight with us when we leave, but these items are cheap and I always have a couple of spares.

  With an RV you can avoid restaurants and save lots of money. When it's time for lunch you pull into a picnic area and whip up some sammies. I have to admit an RV has us beat in that area. But we only stay in motels with free breakfasts. I'm not fussy about breakfast; coffee, an egg, some yogurt and I'm good till lunch. 

  When we start on a trip we buy a loaf of bread and something to put between the slices. Refrigeration is provided by a small cooler and ice packs. Fewer and fewer motel fridges have a freezer area, but all motels have ice makers, so Tupperware containers filled with ice can sub for ice packs.

  I like seeing RVs on the road. They lumber along a couple miles per hour under the speed limit. I like to drive a couple of miles per hour over the limit. Groups of cars going seven mph over the limit come along like schools of fish and slowly pass by, leaving us alone to enjoy the scenery till the next group comes along. When I have to pass someone, I'll speed up to avoid having a speed demon on my tail.

  People on my tail put a dent in my savoir-faire. They are generally driving monster pickups, or German cars of a certain make. Sometimes both lanes are blocked by slower moving vehicles. I'm in the passing lane as the guy ahead of me in the passing lane is making turtle-like progress past the guy in the travel lane. I give the slow poke room, but some yahoo will inevitably pull up six-inches behind me and sit there for long minutes as though this will somehow speed things up. The sensible thing for me to do would be to slip back into the travel lane and let the demon push the turtle along. But I never do that.

  I saw a bumper sticker recently that said, "I'm practicing social distancing. Back off!! I should get that sticker.  I've developed a hack to keep my blood pressure down in these situations. I pretend the vehicle on my butt is driven by my guardian angel. He's teaching me forbearance. I know angels have neither sex nor ethnicity but I imagine my guardian as a Hispanic man variously named Pedro, Pablo, or Miguel.  I won't get angry with my angel no matter how annoying he acts, because I know he means well.