Happy Birthday Earth! According to my calculator, you are now 6030 years old. You've crammed a lot into six millennia. My greetings today are based on the studies of Bishop James Ussher of Dublin and London (1581-1658). We use methods not available to Ussher to arrive at an earlier date for the creation of the earth. Ussher did well with the tools he had to work with, which was mainly the Bible. Starting from 4 BC, which he correctly realized was the year Jesus was born, he worked backwards using Jesus' genealogies to 4004 BC. He chose October 23 as the date because he believed everything must have started on the Autumnal Equinox (England's calendar was off a bit in Ussher's day). First he picked midnight on the 23rd for the start, then he backed it up to 6:00 pm on the 22nd. This must have been when the Big Bang took place, which Ussher could not have been expected to know about. Before we scoff at Ussher, we should recall that Isaac...
Camera ready, darlin'? Look, here's a good trail. This'll fer shure be a No. 1 spot on the Wiktel Page. May even make the phone book cover! Ish Dah! Smell dat? That's because it smells us. Steel yourself. It'll be worth every stinkin' bit. Lissen ... Hear it, girl? It's just ahead ... Steady now... ready? You can do it ... Fee fon! It's a sneaky one. Slow a bit. It's ... there . See it tween the trees? You can just make it out .... YES1 YES! YES! ATTA GIRL! YOU GOT IT!! A PALMVILLE THRESHERANNOSAURUS REX!