The year was 1792. Mayonaise had been invented 3 years earlier by British loyalists who had fled to the Canadian province of Manitoba. The objective was to create a product that was valuable both as a lubricant and as a slow poison that would protect the loyalists in the event of an American invasion. These loyalist fled Boston and arrived in Churchill. Apparently the loyalists had misinterpreted a Revolutionary War map and thought they were heading for a tropical paradise. Some say this was due to the fact that they did not understand the Metric system...and who can blame them...seeing as the Metric system hadn't even been invented yet. Back then when you claimed to use the Metric system, you were likely hanged as a spy. But I digress... Churchill: A toe numbing chill town! Much like today, true mayonaise is only available from the sea. It was especially abundant around the sprawling, icy metropolis of Churchill. The problem was tha...
Knees on the floor, hands held together, elbows pressed into the mattress for support. It’s the fifties, and that’s me kneeling bedside with my two sisters whispering nighttime prayers. Mom, with the soul of a poet, inspired us to memorize Night is falling, dear Mother, the long day is o’er, And before your loved image, we are kneeling once more, to thank you for keeping us safe through the day and to ask you this night to keep evil away... So, yeah, my relationship with prayer goes way back. In third grade, one particular prayer changed how I thought about God. I guess I was ready for paradox. It started one Friday after lunch, after some throwaway lesson led us third-graders into the week’s most beloved hour: Art. In Catholic school, that meant swapping our flimsy scratch paper from Arithmetic for heavy drawing paper. Whoo-hoo, time to go wild with our crayons! Sister had one rule. Each week she’d stand up, point her witchlike finger at us, and warn: NO CRAYONS IN THE PENCIL...