Wannaskan Almanac

The summer of Hot Honey BBQ has come and mostly passed, and honestly, it feels like we all collectively decided that regular barbecue sauce just wasn’t dramatic enough anymore. Somewhere between the first backyard cookout and the fifteenth “Hey, we’re grilling tonight, you coming?” text, hot honey took over America like a sweet, spicy little ninja. One minute it was just a trendy drizzle on fancy pizza, and the next it was the Beyoncé of condiments—everywhere, beloved, and slightly dangerous if you’re not ready for the heat. Hot honey, in case you’ve somehow avoided the internet, is exactly what it sounds like: honey with a kick. It’s sweet, sticky, and then—bam—a warm, slow-building heat that taps you on the shoulder like, “Hey buddy, I’m here too.” It’s not the kind of heat that sends you running for a gallon of milk. It’s more like the kind that makes you nod thoughtfully and say, “Okay, I see you.” It’s the perfect balance of comfort and chaos, which is probably why it’s become the...

  THIRD MOVEMENT REMEMBERING   SONG SEVENTEEN BURNING GROUND   I   “You are what you seem             a lightning bolt dreamed through a hollow tree You’re back on the ground now Eeeeei! What a flight! Good work child! Good work in the dream!”   I am dumbstruck from two sides             by the old man taken for lost             by the red-black spiral of my fall.   “Can you speak?!” he squints an eye at me Behind him, brilliant sun makes a halo of his thick white hair His glow and the sun so entwined I can’t be sure he is there   “Yes. I can speak – at least enough to say – again             it is wondrous strange to find you really here.”   “Still the same and not strange at all   You are in the Drea...

  The Palmville Globe Volume 2 Number 29 Man Avoids Embarrassing Revelation  Joe McDonnell, 79 and residing in Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently covered up a potentially embarrassing faux pas. "I was invited to a tea party last week and was already embarrassed because I was late,” he tells the press. “The other guests were sipping their tea and eating the dessert, and they had to squeeze together to make room for me. The dessert was a very soft and foamy pink cake which I ate quickly because I had missed my lunch. The dessert was delicious and I hoped I'd be offered another piece. As the hostess refilled the teacups, she knocked a guest's cup over. The guests mopped up the spill with their napkins but tea was leaking through the crack where the table leaf goes in. I grabbed several paper towels and dove under the table to wipe up the spill. It was then I discovered that I had dropped a piece of my dessert on the floor. I was able to wipe it up with the tea and discard the...

Hello and welcome to a wet Saturday here at the Wannaskan Almanac. Today is August 15th. This past week, the Youngest celebrated his golden birthday. I remember my golden birthday. I was 7 years old. I had 2 parties: one with my immediate family and then one at my aunt and uncle's farm. Now that I think about it, maybe they just had a party-party and I thought it was for me because it was my golden birthday, because when you're a kid, golden birthdays are a very big deal.  I have a photograph of my dad and me at the extended family party. My dad looms large, with lumberjack arms and a deep tan from summers spent working outside on his myriad engines. Maybe he'd built a garage that summer, or had repaired a roof. In any case, when I look at that photo, to me he looks like a live version of the phrase "strapping young man," at age 34 and despite smoking- let's just say - 4 packs of Marlboros a day. And in the photo, this brown (relatively healthy), strong man is...

     After a Russian MiG fighter pilot defected to the US during the Cold War, he was taken on a tour of an American supermarket. The Russian, having grown up in a world of scarcity and shortages, thought the store had been staged for his benefit. No, he was told, this is how it is here. You made the right choice landing your plane here.    I appreciate the abundance and variety of foods available even in a remote place like Roseau. I am grateful to the farmers, truck drivers and the efficient bureaucrats who make it all possible. Now that I've said that, I'm going to whine about the checkout process. Some of the cashiers are great. You can have a true human interaction with them. But many are too busy chatting with the adjacent cashier to see me as more than a credit card. "Tap it again, dear."    So I was delighted when our store installed self-checkout stations. There was a learning curve at first, but there was a staff person to make things right. ...

Date: 2008 7:11 PM Subject:   Re: Dear Annette. Great library show! It was a nice time all in all.     I got a copy of Regional Ramblings from Chuck and as we looked through it, him thumbing the pages all the way to the index in the back, he asked,"Are you in here?"  and I said, "I'm not sure, let's look..."      "Nope, guess not," I said quickly reading the alphabetical listing. "Why not?" he quipped. "Miss another, deadline? ... "    "Ooo, that guy, Annette... He's a wit, I tell you... a wit, but I suppose that's why the guy is the librarian. I mean, how many librarians do you know, aren't total wits? Bet you can't name many."    "Ennaways, in answer to your suggestion, I'll do a show next spring at the library--yeah, it's time I do something around town that way. I'd really like to do an exhibit of varied mediums. I'll begin putting something together. You say, Chuck has some f...