28 juni 2023 The Evaporation of Inga Einarsdottir Part 2

The Evaporation of Inga Einarsdottir

Part 2

“Fictional characters are creative composites of several people."--WW

    The next RAVEN story that the fictional character Inga Einarsdottir Josephson was featured in was Volume 6 issue 4 of THE RAVEN: Northwest Minnesota’s Original Art, History & Humor Journal, 2002, titled, “Ula & Sven’s Road Trip To Tuff Rubber Balls.” 

 

    On Page 10, second paragraph, Inga is re-introduced as fictional character Ula Josephson’s wife. Readers learn that Inga thought rather ill of Ula’s friend and neighbor, Sven Guyson and his fondness of beer, although she nor Ula were complete teetotalers themselves.

    “Sven and Ula were returning home to Palmville from Tuff Rubber Balls, Minnesoter, er Thief River Falls, Minnesota, where they had picked up some free food plot seed from a deer hunters association. Sven had read about that free distribution of corn, grass, sunflower, and sugar beet seed to plant for deer to be handed out from 1:00-3:00 p.m. from the front of a now-defunct Heartz trucking company warehouse in Tuff Rubber Balls.

     “It seemed sort of unnecessary to plant food plots for a species that seemed to have it so good Sven had thought, given that the last three years had been terrifically easy on the deer herds in northwestern Minnesota. Deer hadn’t suffered deep snow and bitter cold and many had wintered over in farm country rather than yard-up in the swamps. The deer herds had multiplied to near-record numbers.

    "Still, Sven thought, a road trip was in order if they had to carry two fifty pound bags of seed corn back home with them as Destination-Proof-of-Presence Receipts, or the like, without which Ula wasn’t allowed to participate especially with Sven Guyson who, since the Duluth In-line marathon race/Fitzger’s Brewery debacle (https://wannaskanalmanac.blogspot.com/2023/06/22-juni-2023-evaporation-of-inga.html) was viewed by Inga as a negative influence on her beloved Ula, ‘a proper man.’

     “Everyone in the northland knows Scandahoovian women rule the roost, so it was Sven and Ula simply complied without issue, and thus were allowed to fly free and reckless as long as they didn’t boast about all they did on their road trips — at least in truth. “Proper editing is an art in itself,” Ula often stated as he used his Swiss Army knife to open a bottle of Jerry Solom’s homemade-best-when-served-and-consumed-at room-temperature beer, a light ale."

The third time that Inga appears in the series is as Inga KarlEinarsdottir Josephson in Volume 7 Issue 2, 2004 “Sven & Ula Do Dublin: Part 1.”

    On Page 6, second paragraph, Inga is along with Ula to Sven’s house to help identify Sven’s vast digital photo collection of their trip to the Emerald Isle in February of 2002. 

    "This decision soon begins to appear a big mistake although things started off smoothly enough but before Sven knew it, an uproar erupts between Ula and Inga. Turning to face Sven, Ula angrily stood up and asked Sven him why Inga could be so stubborn to think that image was where she insisted it was, when he had taken an alike picture and knew fool-well it was not? 

    "Then Inga, leaning her chair ‘way back on its two back legs to see around Ula, asked Sven why Ula insisted on being such a dummy? As for Inga, well, Ula couldn’t stay mad at 'his lovely wife' very long, no matter what she said about his family. Inga was the much more serious of the two, but both were of the forgiving sort. 

    "Leaving the two long-marrieds alone to make-up, as only mixed-breed Scandahoovian couples do in northwestern Minnesota, Sven wandered back upstairs stopping by way of the case of Cwikla beer on the basement floor, for a couple two or three warm ones, ‘To go.’ 

    “Cwikla beer” is a longtime Palmville refreshment originated by the late late late Fred Johnson boys of Section 3 and named in honor of the late Frank Cwikla of Palmville. It is any 3.2 beer served at ambient temperature from a dusty trunk of a car where it’s rolled back and forth for so long that the label is worn off; stored under or behind the seat of a farm truck; stuffed in a toolbox on a tractor, or right out of a 30-can case in the barn, a “Least it’s wet” kind of beverage.

    "Palmville was indeed a long long way from Tipperary; a world away from the green pastures and valley below the Caha Pass; a lifetime of memory away from the Ireland Sven had experienced with his daughter Heide, his companion Monique LeBlanc, and friends Ula and Inga of eastern Palmville in 2002.

    "Sven remembered that Dublin seemed old-hat by the time they arrived at the international airport terminal to head home. It seemed to resemble a small rural airstrip compared to Chicago’s O’Hare Airport, a fact that Sven appreciated because the sole purpose behind this trip to Ireland was for them to become familiar with air travel and the issues a traveler may encounter along the way. Ula was their teacher as he had long been to Sven these soon-to-be 20 years in his company. 

    "Everything had gone perfectly when suddenly Ula and Inga ditched them as they were being quarantined by Dublin Customs officials after Sven admitted they had been on a Premises and may all have a whisper of bovine manure on their boots, a fact Ula and Inga omitted during their customs inspection and Ula later pointed out as air travel wisdom. He had signaled to Heide that he and Inga were going on to the departure gates, a relatively obscured notation on their boarding passes that they, along with many other people on that same flight they found out later, had little real idea about its location.

    "Not being able to leave the line and discuss things with them, Ula and Inga disappeared beyond their group's line of sight and were never seen again, until just before boarding the plane. Sven assured Heide and Monique this was merely the Proof-of-The-Pudding Test, one of those “Do-it-yourself now,” phases Ula had put him through countless times over the years after, as Ula would say, after forever 'molly-coddling Sven.'

    "For instance, Sven helped Ula finally install a toilet inside their house after 18 years of Inga's insistent whining. He had graciously allowed Sven to help him do it by accepting Sven’s $20 Opportunity-To-Do-This-With-Me fee right off without any haggling, just as he had accepted the $50 Opportunity-To-Do-This-With-Me fee he charged Sven to go to Ireland with them as their guide and mentor.

"Yah, I'm really learning a lot, Ula. Thanks for dis here opportunity."

     "Seeing it then for what it was, and a bunch of time to spare, the three set off on their own to find the departure gate, each with their own images of Ireland still warm inside them and their shoes aglow with Irish-green sanitizing solution. Upon accomplishing their arduous task, they rejoined Ula and Inga (sadly, judging by her expression) learning they hadn't known the departure gate number either; the two had even sat at another departure gate area on a different floor from where Sven, Monique and Heide ended up. Although they didn’t sit near Ula and Inga on the plane home to Chicago, everyone(?) in Sven’s party was glad to know they were all together again.

Note: Corrections were made to last week's blog post as upon my review I discovered blatant errors. -- WW.