Sunday Squibs

 

If you get burnt-out in certain professions, you can take a sabbatical, during which time you’ll discover that all the things you’d rather be doing pay much less than the job waiting patiently for your return. 

The Fixer

You got to know when to glue ‘em

Know when to bolt ‘em

Know when to throw away

Know when to burn

Many charities send me a pad of sticky notes with their logo on it. 

I stop giving to those whose notes curl up and fall off. 

My aged body looks like hell. 

With mirror smashed, I feel quite well. 

If ever three becomes a crowd

The two escape into the wild

Unless of course that pesky third

Turns out to be a baby child

The poet who does not write down a good line when he thinks it, 

Is like the fisherman who on setting a hook fails to sink it. 

When he mansplains to a woman, a man calls it being gallant. 

When another man mansplains to him, he calls it being patronized. 

Women don’t mansplain, unless they’re in the mood for futility. 

The Big Bang happened 14.5 billion years ago. It then took ten billion years for our solar system to form. After a half billion more years, the first life appeared. When that first bacteria split to form the second, its daughter said, “Well that sure took awhile!” 

Mom bacteria asked, “What? You were going somewhere?”

While the robin hops across the lawn looking for a meal, I bounce across the porch to fire up the grill.