Wannaskan Almanac For Tuesday, June 6, 2023 Can't You Want My Money?

The DMV.  The Health Department.  The Post Office.  Government entities that slowly work to extract money from you.  They aren't known for stunning customer service.  Well let me introduce one more arm of this many tentacled money grabbing squid...the Social Security office.

Just like the other "services" I listed, the Social Security office thinks it is sexy to want my money.  I figured they would at least know how to get it, but I guess that isn't the case.  My first day off of school this year I stopped by the Social Security office.  I have been doing a little preaching on the side for churches that need a pastor.  I don't make a lot of extra money for this, but I feel like I am providing a service and it is kind of fun too.  My trip to the Social Security administration was to find out how to go about making sure they get their well-earned cut from my meager earnings.

I got there early and there was only one person waiting in line ahead of me.  I was met at the door by an armed guard who encouraged me to use the sign in computer before returning his attention to his phone (I believe he was playing Candy Crush).  I got my number and then sat down.  I started thinking to myself...who or what is this guy guarding?  The building was new, clean, and smelled kind of nice.  I wasn't sure what a thief would take.  Perhaps the chairs in the lobby?  

Anyway, I had just one question for the worker when I finally got in.  How do I get you your money for letting me earn a little extra?  She typed away on her computer for what seemed an eternity.  Then she waited.  I waited.  She waited even longer.  I started to wonder if I had slipped into a different dimension or something.

Finally she told me that she had sent my question to her supervisor, and she was waiting for an answer.  I smiled and nodded.  I had all summer.  They could really not go too slow for me.

I got all summer...

Finally she looked back at her computer and, appearing to feel very good about herself, chirped out her answer.  "You should talk to a tax accountant," was her satisfied answer.  Sometimes I am not very good at hiding my emotions...

 My mind raced.  The things I thought did not match the things I said.  My mind said things like, "Don't you idiots want my money?" and "Wow, you are earning your paycheck!" and "Now I understand the armed guard!"  But, I eventually just gave a dirty look and said, "thank you."  

So, dear Social Security Administration, you have made the list.  You are just as helpful as a moth eaten I Shot JR shirt.  When you finally go belly up I would like my money...and my time...back.  I will be waiting by my mailbox with a big bag with a dollar sign on it.