Gettin' Hitched is a Cinch

Hello and welcome to the Wannaskan Almanac: “Gettin' Hitched is a Cinch”.  Today is June 24th.  

Last Thanksgiving (2022), I was pleasantly surprised by my niece and soon-to-be-nephew (Maggie & Ryan) when they asked me to be the Officiant for their wedding. Yes, you heard that right, they asked moi! Granted, I can speak in front of people and have a good suit of clothes but the significance of the “ask” surprised me.  When Maggie and Ryan made their engagement announcement I suspected I might be thrown some “bone” such as being an usher but never thought I’d play a central role as Officiant!  A high honor indeed!  Later I thought: “Like the dog who caught the car; now that you have it, what are you going to do next”?  Can’t let go; can’t lose it either.

The Back Story:

We were at my sister’s house on the Friday after Thanksgiving enjoying some leftovers.  Parties present were my wife Carol, my sister, brother, nephew and Maggie & Ryan.  The conversation turned to the wedding plans and we talked about where the ceremony would be held, the reception, the photographer and such when I asked: “So who is going to be the Officiant”.  My niece put on a wry smile and said: “So that’s a good segue,” and presented me with a 3-ring binder emblazoned with the title “Officiant” and my name printed below.  So there it was, looking very nice and very official but still unreal.  

Such news! I was more than simply surprised, I was stunned to the point of being speechless. Those of you who know me are aware that I can be a chatty guy so it takes something significant to render me mute. In that moment, I was as confused as a guy at a Blackjack table with a King and an 8, the dealer has a Queen and one card down, the bet is a million dollars and the dealer is asking: “You want another card”? I wasn’t sure I should, wasn’t sure I could, but also, selfishly, I wanted the job.  It took a few minutes for me to collect myself enough to say “I accept” (headline: “Dog Catches Car”).

What does a dog do with the car once it’s caught?:

Beyond writing a ceremony and shopping your closet for the right clothes; there are some important tasks to do in order to be an “Officiant.” If any of you out there in “Wannaskan-land” find yourself in the same situation/predicament here are some tips:

• Check the laws and regulations for the state and county where the marriage will be taking place: Don’t be satisfied by only reading a website, but call a government official which in my case was the “Recorder” for Boone County, Iowa.  As it turns out, this great country of ours was founded on religious freedom so Boone County does not have stringent requirements for who performs a wedding as long as they are “ordained." The specific language of the “Code of Iowa” states: 

• “There is no formal “registration” of Officiants in Iowa. You are authorized to solemnize marriage ceremonies in Iowa if you are an individual ordained or designated as a leader of a religious faith, regardless of the state of residence or service.”

However, in Iowa, you can’t marry people if you are a riverboat captain (Arrrg… Blasted!)

• Become Ordained: Here’s where the Internet helps (thanks Al).  Once you start looking online you’ll find many choices where you can be ordained with the consecration of a mouse click.  There are many choices and I even found the “Temple of the Jedi Order” so if the couple wants; the Force can be with them.  For me, I picked the “Universal Life Church Ministries” because “universal” covers a lot, and these days, we need all the help we can get.

• Gather source material:  Like many of you, I’ve attended or been part of a number of weddings so I have a few ideas of what I’ve liked. I started my research by watching some Hallmark movies with wedding scenes. Then I strip-mined YouTube before turning to the “Magic 8-Ball” that is a Google search. I even consulted with a higher power (ChatGPT) for ideas.  Since I was a theatre minor in college, I wrote the ceremony in the same manner as a play with blocking and direction but, but, but… it’s Maggie & Ryan’s ceremony. I can’t get too invested in just my ideas. I decided that I should produce a draft as soon as possible, provide it to the couple early and graciously accept whatever they decide to keep and toss. The creative process requires this kind of give and take in order for the final result to form and emerge.

Then there is the significance: There are some people in your life whom you meet right when they’re born, you watch them grow, and you witness and participate in their development.  Along the way, at any age, they surprise you with their intelligence, insight and wisdom that you didn’t expect.  As they get older and move on as adults you wonder what impact you may have had on them.  Did they buy that car because you said it was a good one?  Did they choose that career because of a visit we made to a museum, a trip, or your own career?  In this case, we haven’t had a conversation about why they picked me.  Maybe I don’t want to push it so I’ll just be humbled with the high honor of being the Officiant for Maggie & Ryan’s wedding.  Plus, I’ll get to be in more wedding photos!  

So dear readers, look forward to an entry in September 2023 recapping the events leading up to the wedding and how the ceremony went.  Hopefully, it all goes as expected but all plans can change at first utterance of: “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here….”.

 

The Travel Planner Friend Becomes an Officiant