Wannaskan Almanac

Hello and welcome to a graduation Saturday here at the Wannaskan Almanac by way of St. Paul. Today is May 23rd. It's graduation season! While everyone's partying and celebrating in Wannaska, we're in the Twin Cities celebrating College Kid 2.0's who is graduating from the University of St. Thomas. I'm up to my elbows in assembling a potato salad before I get all dolled up for commencement, so I've prepared a poem for your enjoyment. To the Graduates A poem by Kim Hruba, with AI-assistance The grand clock goes tick! And the grand clock goes tock! You find yourself standing right here on the dock. Graduation has found you, it’s arrived at your door, And it does quite a lot—yes, two things, or more! First, it checks your height and says, "Look how you’ve grown! Look at all of the wonderful things that you've known!" It throws up confetti and dances a jig, To celebrate you for becoming so big. But second—oh second!—it checks out the time, Which marches...

         I went to a scattering of ashes last Sunday. Our friend Catherine had died on March 18, 2026 and her ashes were scattered or rather poured out of an urn at the base of the tree she had selected. The ceremony could have been sooner but some of the seven people present had been unable to be there until Sunday. Even so, it was an expeditious scattering of ashes compared with my parent's ashes.    My father died on December 17, 2009 and my mother on March 24, 2012. At least half their ashes and maybe more are  at my sister Mary-Jo's house. My sister says, "They always liked being here". My father said he wanted his ashes left on a sandbar just off the point of land near his home in Hull, MA. He planned for the rising tide to wash his ashes out to sea.    That would have been a simple job. The difficulty as with Catherine's ashes was getting the family together. A year later we had a family get-together at my brother's place in Maine...

    I begrudgingly planted 10 Norway Spruce bare root seedlings that my wife received 'free' from The Arbor Day Foundation's yearly member dues. I had asked her not to get any more of them as I am done planting trees, at least in my mind, having personally planted many thousand since 1974, some by hand; a much greater portion using a tractor and tree planter.    For you see, planting even a small number of trees like this requires hands-on physical labor that, although not yet beyond my capabilities, I am not eager to expend repetitively:  1.) Determining spacious location and marking rows  2.) Measuring distances between each seedling.  3.) Flagging each location.  4.) Digging holes, using a spade or a 1.5" auger powered by a cordless drill.  5.) Cutting & pulling out hidden tree roots in the hole.  6.) Enlarging hole as necessary.  7.) Trim the seedling's roots as long as the top of the tree is above the ground or about ...

And here is the Wannaskan Almanac with Word-Wednesday for May 20, 2026, the twentieth Wednesday of the year, the ninth Wednesday of spring, the third Wednesday of May, and the one-hundred-fortieth day of the year, with two-hundred twenty-five days remaining. Wannaska Phenology Update for May 20, 2026 Hummers Have Arrived! Just back from Florida, southern Mexico and Central America, the first ruby-throated hummingbirds arrived at Word-Wednesday headquarters last Thursday. Archilochus colubris — nenookaasiwag in Anishinaabe — weigh from 2 to 6 g (0.071 to 0.212 oz). Ruby-throated hummingbirds are rapid, squeaky chirpers, which are used primarily by males as threats against other males. During the courtship displays, the male makes a rapid tik-tik tik-tik tik-tik sound with his wings. Amazingly, some birds embark on a nonstop 900-mile journey across the Gulf of Mexico and Caribbean from Panama or Mexico to the eastern United States, so get those feeders out there! May 20 Fickle Pickle ...

Ah...my last Tuesday before summer break!  To say that it has been a long time coming is an understatement!  I am just finishing my 23rd year of teaching in the hormone infested frontal cortex undeveloped madhouse called middle school.  In a mere two years I will be able to fish 7 days a week if I want...or even possibly sleep in and drink coffee whenever I want!  All are great ambitions! Writers Joe and Steve are my heroes.  They drink coffe all day and beer all night.  It is rumored that they only sleep when I try to stop by and visit.  I have that effect on people.  Or is it affect.  Oh no...drifting off topic... Affect and effect are like those two cousins at a family reunion who look almost identical but insist they’re nothing alike. Affect is the dramatic one—always acting, always doing the emotional heavy lifting. Effect is the chill cousin who just shows up afterward like, “Yeah, I’m the result of all that.” One causes the chaos, the ...

Earlier this week, I thought I might write my post about memory, and then forgot why - I wish I were kidding. Today, though, I noticed the Almanac’s latest banner quotation, and I saw Faulkner’s compelling words from Light in August: Memory believes before knowing remembers. Believes longer than recollects, longer than knowing, even wonders. Oh, good, I thought, I knew there was a reason. ​ Wednesday, I’ll turn 79, and increasingly, my short-term memory fails me. I’ll go to do something, but my mind’s eye gets blocked by. . . what? Scientists point to natural shifts like brain shrinkage, cellular changes, and vascular decline. They suggest I’m probably okay and that it’s normal to take longer to absorb new information. That I shouldn’t worry too much when I misplace things. I wish I could remember this reassurance when I’m groping around for my phone. ​ There are some things, though, I remember clearly. Just this morning, my brother sent my siblings and me a picture of an indelible spo...

  The Palmville Globe Volume 2 Number 16 Man Tames Cowlick Joe McDonnell, and a resident of Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently discovered a new grooming trick. "I've had an unruly cowlick since youth," McDonnell tells the press. "My solution was to put a wet towel on my head for ten minutes before going out in public. My wife said this gave me helmet hair. She said I should use conditioner which I tried off and on over the years without results. Just the other day I read the label and it said leave the conditioner in my hair 'as desired' before rinsing. I tried not rinsing the cowlick area at all. Next morning my wife said, 'What did you do to your hair? It looks perfect!' I told her I had read the instructions." McDonnell reports he now leaves a spray bottle of water and a bottle of conditioner in the bathroom closest to the front door for use before going out. "I just have to remember to look in the mirror first," he says. Man Arrives...

Hello and welcome to a  sunny Saturday here at the Wannaskan Almanac. Today is May 16th. I hope you remembered to pay your property taxes. I almost didn't. A Love Letter to My Friend Dear Friend, Tomorrow we go to the forest to spread your ashes and I know it will be then - in that moment - that my body, heart, and soul will align with the impermeable fact that you are gone. I haven't cried since your death. And for this, I'm sorry. Swept up in the chaos of busy swirling in my own family hive, your passing simply hasn't felt real. I've pushed it down the to-do list of items to be done, processed - felt. But today. Today, I cry for you. Today, I sit and breathe into the space that is your absence. And I feel so, so sad. I took a walk this morning, passing through trees and around a lake. The air smells of promise - that sweetness only nature can produce. The early morning is light and bright. A bit cool. I think about you and how to best honor you. Today. Tomorrow. T...

    Cheers!     May 15 is International Pun Day. Puns are the black sheep of the humor family because they're so baaaad. Which reminds of the lamb that lay down on a plaque because it needed some bas relief. Here are my puns written since the last International Pun  Day. Some have already appeared in Word Wednesday in the Wannaskan Almanac . While most mothers have children because they enjoy it, Pro Jenny gets paid for it. What vehicle do jousting knights use? The Chevy Impaler Who’s the prettiest girl in the underworld? Brigitte Bardo How do linguists find relief? By moving their vowels. What might you think yourself if you’ve never been run over? Autoimmune  What occurs when a joke flops?  It enters The Hall of Lame, posthumorously Who's the best singer on Easter Island? Rapper Nui  What animal hangs around the rink? Puck-game wolf Where do Irish sailors go for relief? Port O’Paddy  Who’s best at filling a cab? A taxidermist  How doe...