Wannaskan Almanac

  The Palmville Globe Volume 2 Number 21 Man Retires Glasses Joe McDonnell, 79 and residing in Palmville Twp, recently sent a pair of reading glasses to the landfill. "My wife had asked me to tighten the screw that holds the temple to the frame of her reading glasses," McDonnell tells reporters. "I did that but she predicted the screw would come loose again and she suggested I used LOKTITE. She had used LOKTITE on the screws that held the locking wheels on the big sliding document shelves in her workplace. I tried a drop of LOKTITE on her glasses screw, but when I checked next morning the LOKTITE had eaten away the hinge between the frame and the temple." In a later communication, McDonnell says he's happy his wife had told him to throw away her glasses if LOKTITE didn't work. "I would have added the glasses to my pile of to-do jobs otherwise." Man Retrieves Lost Devices Joe McDonnell, 79 and a huge fan of St Anthony, recently recovered two lost de...

Hello and welcome to a salty Saturday here at the Wannaskan Almanac. Today is June 20th. We're in full-swing summer mode at our house. One kid has camp after camp after camp (and a job) while the other has a sport and theater. And wow . We are busier managing two kids' activities with two full-time jobs than when it was three kids' activities (plus a toddler and baby to bring along to said activities) when I was holding down the fort at home with my own business. I love that my kids are living their best lives with summer activities. And I'm happy to attend all the things, and clap and cheer from the sidelines. But I'm not gonna lie, the rainy weather this past week really did me a solid.  The original plan tomorrow, for example, found us in a pickle of figuring out how to get Child A to Crookston in a 3:30 - 4:30pm window, while at the same time getting Child B in Grafton between 4 - 4:15pm. We had hoped to travel as a family with one car. Two birds, one stone, is...

  Teresa and I have been working with the Carter Foundation or rather the Carter Center. As part of the forty-fourth anniversary of the founding of the foundation, the Center has challenged volunteers to walk 44 miles during the month of June to encourage friends and family members to make a donation to the Carter Center.       Last October Teresa and I walked 55 miles along the Thames River in England for five days so this sounded like a piece of cake. We set a goal of how much we wanted to raise and started walking. We happened to be in East Grand Forks on June 1 so we headed to the trail in the Red River Recreation Area that runs along the river. The trail is an 11 mile loop that crosses the river to Grand Forks and back.      We only walked a mile upstream then a mile back to the car. There would be no 11 mile days on this fundraiser. Since the first day, we’ve mainly walked on the trails in the City of Roseau for 2-3 miles. If we walk at home...

An Excerpt from 'Hot Coffee & Cold Beer: a Journal   July 2, 1983   Last night I was out for my run after being lazy for about a week -- it's easy to get that way and ennui ( weariness and boredom resulting from inactivity or lack of interest) is easy to contract in this weather.    I came running up the lane dodging the water-filled ruts along the way and turned north onto the county road. West of the schoolhouse in the nearing distance came an old Chevy pickup, a blue rusty vision with round cylindrical on-the-fender-turn signals and its front bumper hanging from one corner with wire.   I walked on, occasionally turning to see who it was and ready to motion him on if he slowed 'to help me.'   The bed of the truck was filled with greasy oil cans, chicken wire, broken glass and rocks. The man driving it never looked at me as he tried to force it into low gear but instead looked determined -- "raw concentration to the duty at hand,"-- etched in dirty wri...

And here is the Wannaskan Almanac with Word-Wednesday for June 17, 2026, the twenty-fourth Wednesday of the year, the thirteenth Wednesday of spring, the third Wednesday of June, and the one-hundred sixty-eighth day of the year, with one-hundred ninety-seven days remaining. Wannaska Phenology Update for June 17, 2026 Wild Roses Rosa blanda — oginiiminagaawanzh — in Anishinaabe, also known as smooth rose, meadow/wild rose, or prairie rose, is a species native to Wannaska. A colony-forming shrub growing up to three feet high, wild rose can be found in prairies and meadows and forests, oh my! Among roses, oginiiminagaawanzh is the closest we come to a "thornless" rose. The flowers are perfect, by definition: /PəR-fək(t)/ adj., BOTANY, (of a flower) having both stamens and carpels present and functional, i.e., bisexual. Blooming in early summer, the flowers are borne singly or in corymbs  [KÄR-im(b)/ n., a flower cluster whose lower stalks are proportionally longer so that the ...

Why I'm Canceling My Metamorphosis Subscription (Translated from Tadpolese) By Toby the Tadpole | June 16, 2026 Hello, fellow pond-dwellers. It’s your favorite sleek, aerodynamic water-bullet, Toby. Or at least, I used to be sleek. I woke up this morning, stretched my perfectly streamlined body, and felt a weird, ungodly pop in my lower half. I looked back, and bam—stubby little hind legs. I am officially furious. I’d like to speak to the manager of biology, please, because I am opting out. Honestly, who designed this whole "growing up" process? For weeks, I’ve been the fastest swimmer in the shallows. My skin was smooth, youthful, and perfectly plump. Now? I’m getting a little bumpy around the edges. And my sleek, glorious tail—my defining feature, my absolute pride and joy—is shrinking. I hear from the reeds that I’m going to lose it entirely. What’s next? Am I going to start losing my eyesight and asking younger fish to read the algae labels for me? Let's talk abou...

  I like going to church, but I have a problem. After a few minutes of sitting on the unyielding wooden bench before the service begins, my back starts to ache. Rather than indulging in praise or penitence, I get distracted by my posture. The right angle of the pew serves as a guide for me to throw my shoulders back and press my lower back into a straight line. The stretch feels good and I try to hold it.  After a few seconds of DIY physical therapy, I startle to find myself zoned out and slouching once again. Some might assume I’m reflecting on my virtues and vices but I’m jiving with my own pre-service mantra: Slump, straighten, hold, sigh. Slump, straighten, hold, sigh.  After my initial orthopedic warm up, I’m carried along by the liturgy. I love the candles and the music. I particularly love both the familiarity and surprises embedded in scripture, and feel lucky that our priests deliver amazing homilies. More than anything, I’ve always been drawn to the solemn myste...

  The Palmville Globe Volume 2 Number 20 Man Rectifies Cage Joe McDonnell, 79 and a resident of Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently stabilized a tomato cage. "We started off using metal cages," McDonnell tells the press, "but they're shaped like upside down cones and tended to tip over as the tomato plants got top heavy. My wife's father made several wooden cages and when he stopped gardening we started using them. Over time one of them got rotten so I bought some wood and made a new cage. I thought using screws instead of nails would make it stronger and it did, but to save money I only used one screw at each corner. After three seasons my wife noted this newest cage was the floppiest. By putting a small nail about an inch from each screw, the cage became the least floppy of all the cages." In a later report McDonnell says his wife thought her father had made all the cages. "I'll have to tell her the new one was my work," he says. Man Tests Non...

 Good morning (or afternoon) and welcome to a beautiful hot sunny day in Philadelphia, here at the Wannaskan Almanac! Today is June 13th. BOOM! I’m back. My lovely mother has once again successfully bribed me into writing a post for her, this time in return for a free month of Apple TV + so I can watch Formula One. Nevertheless it feels quite nice to return every once in a while, to drop in and tell the world what I’ve been up to, and what I will be up to. Let's get into it! To start off, I am (mostly) done with my sophomore year at Drexel University. I just finished my finals for spring term yesterday to conclude a nice, busy year. It's been full of gen-eds, monotonous classes required for my major, and some fun recording classes in the music studio here and there. I’m only mostly done with my sophomore year though, since Drexel is an all year round school I’m required to spend the summer here taking classes, but it’s pretty low key. For those that aren't aware, I have bee...