Sunday News

 

The Palmville Globe Volume 2 Number 21

Man Retires Glasses

Joe McDonnell, 79 and residing in Palmville Twp, recently sent a pair of reading glasses to the landfill. "My wife had asked me to tighten the screw that holds the temple to the frame of her reading glasses," McDonnell tells reporters. "I did that but she predicted the screw would come loose again and she suggested I used LOKTITE. She had used LOKTITE on the screws that held the locking wheels on the big sliding document shelves in her workplace. I tried a drop of LOKTITE on her glasses screw, but when I checked next morning the LOKTITE had eaten away the hinge between the frame and the temple." In a later communication, McDonnell says he's happy his wife had told him to throw away her glasses if LOKTITE didn't work. "I would have added the glasses to my pile of to-do jobs otherwise."

Man Retrieves Lost Devices

Joe McDonnell, 79 and a huge fan of St Anthony, recently recovered two lost devices. "Wednesday was a very busy day," McDonnell tells the press. "My wife and I had an afternoon volunteer stint at the hospital. We planned to get in our daily walk before the volunteer stint. I went to town extra early for my Wednesday visit to friends. Next up was a trip to a government office to pick up a form. Then to my sister-in-law's shop to use her printer. I met my wife at the hospital to start our walk which ended back to the hospital. That's when I noticed my phone and tablet were missing. Our stint was in the basement with no phone service. Once on the hospital guest Wi-Fi, I used my wife's phone to call my own number hoping someone with an honest voice would answer. No one answered. The clerk at the government office looked around but didn't see my phone. My sister-in-law's phone went to voicemail but she quickly called back to say my tablet was at her shop. Also my phone. I picked up both devices after our three hour volunteer stint." In a follow-up email McDonnell, says the whole episode was over before he had time to bother St Anthony. "That's good because St Anthony is always a lot busier than I ever am," he says.

Squib Cellar

AI is not evil but we need to keep an eye on it. Bad behavers have always used whatever tool is at hand to do evil. A rock first, then a flint knife, and now bad Siri. 

The mystic is free to wander wherever. Though membership in a religion would provide the reassurance of AAA on a long trip. 

Some religions look down on Buddhism, labeling it atheistic. If the scoffers can show me their God, I’ll join them in giving Buddhism the hairy eyeball. 

Multitasking makes sense for me as long as other tasks don't butt in while I’m juggling the first three or four.

Jesus boiled the commandments down to these two:

1. Love God. 

2. Love your neighbor. 

How can I love God when I can’t see him?

See commandment 2.

The one thing we’re ok with the know-it-all knowing is how wonderful we are.