The Palmville Globe Volume 2 Number 20
Man Rectifies Cage
Joe McDonnell, 79 and a resident of Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently stabilized a tomato cage. "We started off using metal cages," McDonnell tells the press, "but they're shaped like upside down cones and tended to tip over as the tomato plants got top heavy. My wife's father made several wooden cages and when he stopped gardening we started using them. Over time one of them got rotten so I bought some wood and made a new cage. I thought using screws instead of nails would make it stronger and it did, but to save money I only used one screw at each corner. After three seasons my wife noted this newest cage was the floppiest. By putting a small nail about an inch from each screw, the cage became the least floppy of all the cages." In a later report McDonnell says his wife thought her father had made all the cages. "I'll have to tell her the new one was my work," he says.
Man Tests Non-dairy Cheese
Joe McDonnell, 79 and a low-level influencer, recently reviewed a non-dairy shredded mozzarella cheese on a pizza. "We sometimes check out various food items for the public," he tells reporters. "This mozzarella was made with coconut oil, tapioca and potato starch, sea salt, glucose, rowanberry extract, and lentil protein. It's a product of Greece. On the pizza the cheese formed a dark brown sheet and had a sludgy consistency that stuck to my teeth. I swallowed the first bite but threw the rest in the trash. My wife finished her slice." In a follow-up email McDonnell says he had not noticed that the bag said DO NOT FREEZE in small print before he put it in the freezer. "I'm taking down my one star review until I can test a bag that hasn't been frozen."
Squib Cellar
The know-it-all is despised for making others feel dumb. If he can learn to wait till he's asked for advice, he will be called wise counselor and be loved by all.
It’s good to get rid of the elephant in the room as long as we don’t make a big hole in the wall doing it.
A good comic will slay the audience.
A great one can apply the killer coup de grâce.
Dreams are a delusion made by us
Awake is a delusion made by God
Phase 3: TBD
Physical love gets the marriage fire going. The timber of the two determines how long it will burn.
AI is like a bull
strong and big and mighty
When he enters the china shop
I start to get up-tighty
The grace of God
I arrogate
To help me through
The pearly gate
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