So I have a complaint to lodge...I know, I know...the world is waiting with bated breath! Humanity is ready to jump in and solve my trivial issues, and for that I thank you all!
I know you won't believe me, but today's problem is straight from the halls of the DMV. If you are anything like me, you have had nothing but positive, polite, and prompt service from the DMV up until...today. You see, today I called looking for some...what I thought was...simple information. Approximately how much would it cost me to put tags on a pull behind camper. The camper's value was under $10,000, and I was only looking for an approximation.
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| This camper, unlike the DMV workers, is swift |
The helpful lass (note, I intentionally added that "l" at the beginning of lass) said that they could not give me an estimate. No ballpark figures. Not even a shot in the dark. Her recommendation? Buy the camper, bring the title in, and they would let me know what it costs then.
What a business plan! We charge you what we want. What a great big pile of doggie mess violation. I mean, how do they decide what to charge? Is there a big wheel in the back that they spin? Is it based on your hair color? If so, what about bald people?!
As unhelpful as the DMV can be, maybe it is time that they were forced to run for election to hold their jobs. It would also be a great way to get them to move up in government, as the slower and less helpful people would move ever higher in the government heirarchy. In this system, the DMV could be a useful training ground for our lumbering money sucking county, state, and federal leaders.
So what does DMV really stand for? Could it be:
Department of Maximum Vexation — The official sponsor of long lines and lost patience.
Desk of Minimal Velocity — Where paperwork moves at the speed of continental drift.
Deliberately Missing Vitality — The energy level inside the building is… subdued.
Dramatically Mismanaged Visits — You came for a license renewal; you left with a spiritual trial.
Delayed, Misplaced, Void — Your paperwork’s journey through the system.
Well, that is it. No, wait...let me have one more sophmoric jab at these folks...they were moving like they are underwater.
Peace amigos!
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