Sunday News

 

The Palmville Globe Volume 2 Number 34

Man Replaces Critical Night Light

Joe McDonnell, 79 and residing in Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently replaced an outdoor overhead light. "Most people in my area let the electric company install a dusk to dawn light on a power pole in their yard," McDonnell tells the press. "But the owners can't turn the light off when they want to look at the stars or a comet or the northern lights, therefore we have a light on the front of the garage that we turn on and off as needed. There's a switch in the garage and also one in the house which is convenient. The light recently burned out so I brought my tallest ladder to the front of the garage, put a new bulb in my pocket, climbed up and made the replacement. A new bulb usually lasts four or five years." In a later communication McDonnell says he's glad he doesn't have to stand on the top step of his ladder. "I can reach the bulb while standing one step below the step that says, 'Do not stand on this step. You could lose your balance.'"

Man Donates Plywood to Hunters

Joe McDonnell, 79 and a collector of odd pieces of lumber, recently received a call from his brother-in-law, who enjoys hunting. "My brother-in-law asked if I had a scrap piece of plywood he could buy to replace the door on his deer stand", McDonnell tells reporters. "After going through my rack of old doors, panels, and partially cut sheets of plywood, I found a suitable piece. An hour later my brother-in-law, his son-in-law, and his grandson arrived with the old door. One corner of the old door had been gnawed away- it was speculated a porcupine had done it. The grandson is a builder and quickly transformed my plywood sheet into a deer stand door and off they went to reinstall it on the deer stand" In a follow-up email McDonnell reveals that that same evening his wife saw a porcupine, the first one ever witnessed on their property. "It could not have been the same one that chewed up the door," he writes. "That happened 14.4 miles to the northwest as the crow flies. On the other hand, I had put the chewed-up door in my collection and porcupines are reputed to have a powerful sense of smell."

Squibs

In every situation we’re all initially high maintenance. Once we see the cost, many of us, but not all, adjust our expectations.  

Reading the gospels through is like going to a Christian college- Matthew, then Mark, followed by Luke, with John providing material for one's thesis. 

Christian proselytizers never ask me if I’m right with the Lord. Should I be concerned?

In spats between spouses, do things resolve more quickly if the spouse is good looking or if they’re ugly?

The motel housekeeper’s heart leaps with joy when on entering the room she finds the checked out guest has not messed with the coffee maker.