Sunday News

The Palmville Globe Volume 2 Number 33

Man Finds Missing Closure

Joe McDonnell. 79 and residing in Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently found a twist tie to replace the original one. "Every year before we exit the fair, we buy a super large bag of kettle corn," McDonnell tells the press. "The kettle corn is very hot so the attendant leaves the top open and gives us a long, red and white twist tie. We eat some kettle corn so we can get the twist tie on, but by then our twist tie could not to be found. We did not want to walk all the way back to the kettle con stand so I startled scanning the ground for a twist tie. Before we reached the exit we found an exact replica of the lost twist tie, though it appeared to have been stepped on." 

In a later communication, McDonnell says that once they were home, they found the original twist in a purse. "In the hubbub of the fair, things often go missing only to turn up later." he says. 

Man Avoids Zoom Meeting

Joe McDonnell, 79 and not a good meeting person, recently found a haven of relative quiet during a zoom meeting. "My wife and I were on the road and she needed to attend an organizational zoom meeting in our room" McDonnell tells reporters. As we checked into our motel I noticed the room that would serve next morning as our complimentary breakfast room was empty. Once we got settled in our room and my wife opened her laptop, I returned to the breakfast room. There was a comfortable chair in front the tv which was turned to a low volume. I would have turned it off but a sign said 'Please do not touch TV'. For the next 90 minutes I just relaxed. The predominate sound other than the almost muted TV was the rumble behind me of suitcase wheels over the threshold, as people entered the motel to check in. When my wife texted 'Done' I was surprised at how quickly the time had passed." In a follow-up email McDonnell says that another bonus was that at 8:30 p.m. most of the restaurants around motels are not crowded at all.

Squibs

Kids don't want to be called 'butthole'. The middle aged seek to avoid being labeled a 'creep'. And the elderly hope not to be written off as 'pompous asses'. 

Our ancestors feared Nature so they invented gods to protect them.

We too fear the darkness and have created the multi-nationals to provide for us, though sometimes the big companies are as careless as Zeus was with his thunderbolts.

Meditation is like shutting down our phone when it has a glitch. 

Meditation gives the ego a chance to realign with the soul.

Big crowds are fine at a wedding, but a funeral should be a series of smaller events over a long weekend so our friends and family can get to know each other.

Keeping up with the Joneses was tough.

Growing decrepit with them is more enjoyable.