Fifty years ago, a young man and a young woman from Des Moines got married; they had once been high school sweethearts. Reunited two years after their inner-city high school graduation, and his near-death experience on a Canadian fishing trip the summer before, they had a small, parents-only wedding. The wedding party members gathered patiently at the bride's sister’s home. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the wildly blissful couple, four of their close friends went to the couple’s home and spread fifty dollars worth ($343.59 today) of Lincoln-head, old and presumably new, pennies between the wedding bed sheets.
This compulsive action on their part wasn't in the least bit conducive to further wedding night bliss, becoming instead a measurable non-event according to the internet, (among a slew of other sites) for as this one states, “... poles reveal 25% of suddenly-married couples do not consummate. https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/a-third-of-all-couples-don-t-have-sex-on-their-wedding-night-poll-reveals-a6854971.html
In addition to the bride citing the highly infectious nature of public money alone, https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/dirty-money/ with only a 300-thread count separation from her highly-vulnerable, thinly-veiled body, not to mention he and his summer-weight Wedding Balls Boxer Shorts, she plaintively wailed, “How could you? And on our wedding night too." Obviously, she hadn't read:
https://theweek.com/articles/457268/advice-wedding-night-from-100-years-ago which may or may not have included this ceremony.
The aforementioned Pennies Between The Wedding Night Sheets ceremony, the groom surmises after fifty years, forty-two of which were spent not married to one another, has proven not to be ’traditional’ in any respect to, say, the Bedding Ceremony, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bedding_ceremony at the time of King Charles II (1630-1685), that according to Wikipedia, was the wedding custom of putting the newlywed couple into bed together in front of numerous witnesses including family, neighbors, and friends thereby completing the marriage by actually witnessing the couple's first sexual intercourse, or symbolically, by leaving before consummation; it symbolized the community's involvement in the marriage. Oh yeah, that would've greatly helped the situation.
Non-consummation after marriage, in this case followed by an innocent terror-filled honeymoon involving bird attacks at an isolated wilderness hunting cabin in NW Minnesota, and an indoors flyby by a bat in another, allowed penalty-free annulment in some districts, of which the bride became aware of at some point within those eight years of marital bliss, and admitted upon divorce proceedings she severely lamented not initiating said annulment immediately after their return to civilization.
The legally binding nature of the ceremony varied greatly from place to place. Further on-line exploration, upon entering “Pennies/Coins between wedding bed sheets,” listed subjects such as “Wedding Coin Rituals,” in which couples are given a small bag of 13 coins, that some say some say represent Jesus and the twelve apostles. https://www.theknot.com/content/arras-wedding-coins
Furthermore, the Chinese have the AN CHUANG CEREMONY in which, among a host of a great many other traditions are, “The Fate Coins,” to be placed at the four corners of the bed, room, wardrobes and drawers, while antique Chinese coins are to be inserted top facing into red packets and placed at each corner of the mattress and under each pillow. https://singaporebrides.com/articles/2018/05/an-chuang- chinese-wedding-tradition-all-you-need-to-know-about-setting-your- matrimonial-bed/
On-line sites included reasons of No Wedding Night Sex: https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/comments/7qb3n4/no_sex_on_wedding_night/ including drunkenness of groom post-ceremony. and exhaustion of bride after all the preliminary preparation and gala events; the other sites mentioning the involvement of money depicted the couple opening wedding gifts and envelopes including money then going asleep on top of it, in one form or another. But then it could've been worse: https://www.findmypast.com/blog/history/shivaree-when-the-whole-community-interrupted-your-wedding-night
Alas, even after this: https://www.brides.com/gallery/wedding-traditions-around-the-world I've found nothing about ‘Pennies Between The Wedding Night Sheets.’
Explain yourselves after fifty years, one month and 12 days, Kerry and Ellen, and Arthur.
ReplyDeleteGet married when it’s 20° below.
Your friends will be too busy getting to their own beds to do anything silly.
I was almost finished reading this post, when I saw the word "shivaree." The word brought up all-night parties - the wedding version of an Irish wake - and sure enough, here's what I found upon googling : a noisy mock serenade performed by a group of people to celebrate a marriage or mock an unpopular person.
ReplyDelete"the melodious echo of wedding bells was later drowned out by the irreverent cacophony of a shivaree." (Note the two purposes of shivaree having to do with nuptial bliss and mocking some version of a dullard.
Meself, having attended more than one of the first kind, have delightful memories of uncles who were usually stoic and bland, turning jovial after imbibing in several cups of punch, and cheerfully inviting the youngest females to sit on their knees. I remember my grandfather entertaining us with his jig dancing. Merriment reigned.
Soon enough, the sodden couple were off to sleep - or whatever - and most of the party-goers huddled silently outside the bedroom door, shushing each other and stretching their eardrums until they were taut and sensitive. Silence from the bedroom was a bad sign, but on one occasion, sure enough, raucous laughter, slaps on flesh, and audible whispers emanated from within the wedding chamber where the happy (or not) couple were having their own shivaree.
I'll leave you with the etymology of the word: In much of the central U.S. and Canada, however, it was called a "shivaree," a loan from French "charivari," which denotes the same folk custom in France. In more recent years, "shivaree" has also developed broader senses; it is sometimes used to mean simply "a cacophony" or "a celebration."
May all your shivarees be merry and ticklish.
These links just keep the hilarity going! JPS, I need you to tell me you are not making up the part about your relatives shushing and stretching to hear beyond the door.
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