TORSGAD DECEMBER 1, 2022

    Over the Indigenous Peoples Day weekend, aside from the host of things I was told by individuals in the know, unlike myself, one told me that because I’ve submitted a sample of my Deoxyribonucleic acid to an ancestry site, ‘they’ve’ made a clone of me who exists someplace apart from the child I helped create many years ago.

    Contemplating my cloned-self, let's refer to him as MM for clarification, I shudder to think of him having to endure the same life I endured as a child, if we’re so alike in every aspect.

     WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS POSSIBLE 'CLONOGRAPHICAL' RECORD OF MY DNA.

    Herein, we explore what may or may not occur.

He may be discovered outside a single car garage by a kindly unmarried woman 21-years older than himself who identifies herself to him as his oldest sister. She is ecstatic.

 

The 'sister's' father adopts the baby as his own despite having so many other mouths to feed. Boy children are rare and cause much excitement in the community.

On the back of one of his photographs someone will scrawl, in pencil, "See how they do him. They dress him up and just have a circus with him and he likes it."

Another kindly unmarried woman 19-years older than himself identifies herself to him as his second-oldest sister. She is ecstatic too.

 

The sisters put him in dangerous positions. Here he is on a kitchen countertop propped against a cupboard next to an open kitchen sink.

MM in water-filled kitchen sink without safety restraints. Brrr.

He gets his first wheeled horse.

He gets his first recreational vehicle.

He braves the outdoors. Is sent on a vision quest.

He rejoins his ancestral spirit.

He begins to call himself "El Gaucho."

Bucked off his spirit horse, "Effervescent," he suffers a setback during potty training. Sisters won't let him forget it. They stalk him when he least expects it.

"Whhaaat? I'm nekked here!"

Christmas Day may hold bonuses. A cowboy hat, cowboy boots, pants, fringed vest, a sled -- and a gun!

Sisters 1 & 2 attempt to create the 'Cool Guy' look. Sister 3 gets a camera for Christmas.

With distinctive style like this, MM is sure to be a Sunday School favorite with all the babes.

As history will play out, MM will tend to raise hell afterward.

One night, MM will see a show on TV or whatever media rich programming exists at about this age -- or sooner, that will drastically change the trajectory of his life. He will begin to plan. Watch for it.

He will start reading the newspaper and looking at magazines.

And taking copious notes.

Watch out Luke Combs and all you other mediocre Country singers. MM is out there somewhere! Happy Trails To You!