Sunday Squibs

 

Can two nouns equal an adjective? School bus + school children = obstreperous. 

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We love our fans as long as they don’t grow dangerously into fanatics

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There comes a time to unacquire certain tastes we put so much effort into acquiring. 

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I used to watch my team to the end, win or lose. I now watch only highlights. Yes, I’ve paid my dues. 

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I used to agree with everybody so they’d like me. Now that everybody likes me, I’m free to be disagreeable. 

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Whoever doesn’t believe the facts is using a rubber band for a ruler. 

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Every country has a weird tasting food. Scotland has haggis, England has marmite. At least Ireland made Guinness intoxicating.

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When I wake up, it takes a few seconds to recall where I am. How long I remain confused after death will depend on how well I’ve prepared myself to shake off that confusion. 

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Will you spend your three score and ten like an accountant or like a sky diver?

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In youth we cover up our mistakes from embarrassment. In middle age we share them because they’re funny. In old age we hide them again lest our family start a dossier to put us in the Home.