Warning a person you’re about to give them a hard time takes all the fun out of your devilry.
When I want my egg I want it now. I refuse to be one of those people forever checking the henhouse.
Shudda, cudda, wudda are obituary terms, and don’t belong in the vocabulary of the living.
The next great cooking gadget will sound an alarm at the instant a dish goes from almost done to burnt.
I’ve been living in the wilderness and won’t return to town till electric lawnmowers are mandated. At least before 7:00 a.m. on Sunday mornings.
I want to get a tattoo, but chameleon that I am, it will have to be dry erase.
Pets have a closer orbit to life’s sun than their masters do
Toilet paper is a good sub for Kleenex. In a pinch it can serve as a paper towel or even a coffee filter. But not as a marriage certificate.
It’s a fine social lubricant
Making big talk of small
But like oil on the floor
Booze can lead to a fall
The discerning shopper knows when the store brand is just as good as the name brand, and when it’s not.
"But not as a marriage certificate." Hmmm, there's a story there. Care to elaborate?
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