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July 9, 2019 Wannaskan Almanac

I don’t normally watch the news. It seems that news programs have too often become commercials for political parties.  I think this started when 24 hour news services started.  They had to fill in a lot of time so they started adding in hours of opinions.
The other day I watched a local news program describe how a cat had accidentally gotten into a washing machine.  I am unsure how this story was politically motivated.  Perhaps they blame congress somehow.  This got me to wondering about the strangest news stories ever.  Unfortunately most of the weird news stories I found are too...unusual...for our our publication.  Feel free to look some up if you are fascinated by the macabre.
It is July.  I tried, but failed, to stretch out June for a couple of days.  Nobody joined my protest.  Here are some facts about July.
The birthstone for July is ruby.  Rubies are formed when a mineral called corundum is exposed to chromic oxide in metamorphic environments between 1148 and 1238 degrees Fahrenheit.  This is similar to how the Incredible Hulk was born.  The highest recorded temperature in Wannaska is 1147 Fahrenheit, which explains the lack of rubies in our fair town.  The largest ruby is an over 48 pound gem known as The King Ruby.  It can be seen in India.  Good luck finding a picture of it.  And don’t even think of trying to steal it.
The birth flower for July is the water lily.  Up until just now I didn’t realize that there was such a thing as a birth flower.  Hopefully this does not damage me in some way.  The water lily is also called a nymphaeaceae.  For those of us without double jointed tongues we will just say water lily.
My wife and I went for a walk today.  While I never like to make light of someone else’s misfortune, this image was kind of an unusual one so I thought I would share.  Apparently someone broke Breakers Bar.


Do you have a caption for the above photos?  Submit it below and you could win a virtual pat on the back!

Comments

  1. Valet parking available in rear of building.

    or

    Please set those parking breaks.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you ain't drinking at Breakers,
    you're drinking with Quakers.
    Earth shakers, not the oatmeal makers.

    ReplyDelete

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