Why Football Makes Sense for My Kid

Hello and welcome to a rainy football Saturday here at the Wannaskan Almanac. Today is September 21st.

Today is the last day of youth football. I've got minutes on the clock to make this blog post a touchdown and hope the 4th grader can shore up the extra point with a good kick.

The last of our kid crew is the first in our family to try the sport. "He'll get a concussion," his oldest sister warned when I said her youngest brother was going to be in football.

We're not a particularly sporty family. We ski. The older kids ran Cross Country and some track. The Seventh Grader swims. We bike to town. We've spectated at some volleyball, basketball, and hockey games, but it was more because our kids were in the pep band than it was to watch the sport itself. I'm reluctant to admit this, for fear of prompting reader gasps of horror, but I have never been to a high school football game in all of our 18 years living in Wannaskaland. In my defense, that wasn't entirely my fault. The nights I had planned to go it either snowed, rained, or was so cold I just couldn't muster up the enthusiasm to suffer even if my kids were in the pep band. I credit those bad-weather football game nights for instilling in my children a belief in their mother's counsel when she said, "Wear a hat, gloves, scarf, and your winter jacket."

We don't gather around the television on Sundays to watch the NFL. While I did with my family of origin on occasion before I was married, let's just say the Vikings broke my heart one too many times. I've been guilty of not knowing when the Super Bowl was until the day of. I've learned that being Czech is not enough to motivate my husband to follow hockey. The last sport he got excited about was soccer, and that's because we watched Ted Lasso. (Which I'm dubbing the GOAT of all television shows.) Even the summer Olympics, which we can usually drum up some excitement for, felt meh this year. 

So why youth football this year?

To be with friends.

The Fourth Grader is the most social of all of our kids. Yes, even more so than College Kid 3.0, aka the former WAKWIR* of this blog. The Fourth Grader loves being with people, around people, and chatting with people. He'll carry a conversation with anyone. He even asks questions. With adults.

Knowing this about our son, I was surprised when it dawned on me last year that he was home with us 99.9% of his free time. He would chat easily about what he did with his friends during recess, lunch, gym, on the bus, and in the classroom. When we'd spot a fellow classmate at the grocery store, I'd usually hear a cheerful, "Hi, Antonin!" So why was my kid not socializing with his friends outside of school?

Sports.

I learned a very valuable lesson last year in the Third Grade and it is this: If your kid's not in a sport, it's very difficult to build a social life.

I want to pause here and say that, as a seasoned parent, I was genuinely nonplussed (a Toastmaster word of the day I have been trying to use correctly in a sentence since College Kid 2.0 was a junior in high school, but that's another story) that I could still learn new things about parenting. That there were still lessons for me to learn about parenting.

After further sleuthing my theory, I learned two things that contributed to my social butterfly's lack of a social life. The first lesson was kids' social lives revolve around sports. Gathering on fields, courts, and arenas is how elementary-aged kids largely hang out. I'd been trusting that church school, 4-H (which we rarely attended last year), and going outside to find neighbor kids to play with, was enough effort on my part to cultivate his friendships. An occasional playdate or birthday party would spackle any of the gaps. The problem was the phone never rang for birthday parties and playdates, which led to Lesson #2: I didn't know the parents.

The one-two punch of both lessons left me gobsmacked. But then it made total sense.

Today's parents manage their kids' social activities far more than the parents of yesteryear. Keeping your kids' dance cards filled with activities is the norm, and sports provide the bulk of those dance partners. I had to admit I was more of a yesteryear parent than a today's parent. But also, I had been a way more hands-on parent with the older three kids than with the younger ones. I'd cultivated my own relationships with the other parents which naturally segued into picnics, playdates, and parties at the Point. With the younger two, I'd gone less and less to ECFE, partially because my kids' pre-school time overlapped ECFE parent group, but also, I'd been on a steady trajectory to transition more and more back into the workplace. The last two years I'd returned fully as a full-time employee, while still doing the Red Shoes side hustle.

I went on the offense. We took him to hockey games, making sure he could sit with his friends while we listened to the pep band. I got the friends' moms' phone numbers and inquired about play dates. We had a birthday party that included the parents lingering around the campfire with my hubby's homemade brew. We "began again" as parents.

"So, how was it? Being in football this year?" I asked my son this morning as he donned his pads and helmet. "It's hard. My team is really good at defense; trying to stop the other players from scoring a touchdown. I'm glad I did football. It's pretty fun scoring touchdowns and getting the ball."

Okay, so he didn't say anything about friends - but I know it's there.

*Wannaskan Almanac Kid Writer-in-Residence