March 23 is the most boring day in history. Look it up. Nobody did a whole lot on that day. So what is an almanac writer to do? I can't just make stuff up...or can I?
The following probably didn't happen. The names have not been changed to protect the innocent. We don't go for that here.
March 23, 7009 BC: The first rock concert took place. Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones played for thirty minutes in front of a bunch of kids who appeared to be stoned. This occurred on the shores of Pebble Beach.
March 23, 253 BC: This event may have occurred on March 24. Records are sketchy. Supposedly on one of these two days, a woman admitted that the man in her life was right. We find it hard to believe. My wife is completely convinced it is false.
March 23, 1 BC: Mary takes a pregnancy test and it comes back positive. This originally makes her boyfriend, Joseph, negative. He comes around though.
March 23, 499 AD: King Arthur is born. He wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth. He was actually born with a steel sword in his stone.
March 23, 1000 AD: Last of the Y1K alarmists emerge from a cave in Western France and was surprised to see that his abacus was still working properly.
March 23, 1492 AD: Christopher Columbus' cousin, Christopher Cross, releases a song mocking the idea of sailing around the world to Asia.
March 23, 1776: Original date for the declaration of independence. After a great deal of discussion, the founding fathers decided against this date because they felt it was foolish to celebrate July the 4th on March 23.
March 23, 1899: This date is often considered the last of the March 23s in the 19th century. It is celebrated in three countries: Albania, Canada (only in Newfoundland), and Trinidad but not Tobago.
March 23, 1967: Mr. Hot Coco was conceived through in vitro fertilization. He would go on to become on of the top ten writers at the Wannaskan Almanac.
March 23, 1980: The greatest decade of music is officially launched as "Another Brick in the Wall--Part 2" reaches number 1 on the charts. The 90's music has been classified as "sucks", which is why it doesn't appear in the Guardians of the Galaxy movies.
March 23, 2000: 1000 year old cave full of bones discovered in Western France. Inscribed on the wall was, "Nous aurions dû installer un évent!"
March 23, 2021: Worst ever episode of the Wannaskan Almanac is published, leading to several lawsuits and the eventual shut down of a once proud publication.
Hope you didn't blow a head gasket writing this one, dude! It was really an eye opener, eh.
ReplyDeleteHead gasket was blown long ago...
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