And here is the Wannaskan Almanac for Word-Wednesday, March 13, 2019, the 11th Wednesday of the year, the 72nd day of the year, with 793 days remaining until the end of the year, 19 days remaining until April Fools Day, and 1,077 days until Twosday, February 22, 2022.
Nordhem Lunch: Hot Ham Sandwich w/Potatoes & Gravy
Earth/Moon Almanac for March 13, 2019
Sunrise: 7:42am; Sunset: 7:25pm; 3 minutes, 36 seconds more daylight today
Moonrise: 11:17am; Moonset: 1:55am, waxing crescent
Temperature Almanac for March 13, 2019
Average Record Today
High 32 58 35
Low 12 -24 31
The National Weather Service has this to say:
WINTER STORM WATCH NOW IN EFFECT FROM WEDNESDAY EVENING
THROUGH LATE THURSDAY NIGHT...
* WHAT...Historic blizzard conditions possible. Total snow
accumulations of 6 to 10 inches possible for eastern North
Dakota and parts of northwest Minnesota. Ice accumulations of
a light glaze will be possible in far southeast North Dakota
and west central Minnesota. Winds could gust as high as 60 mph.
* WHERE...Portions of northwest and west central Minnesota and
northeast and southeast North Dakota.
* WHEN...From Wednesday evening through late Thursday night.
* ADDITIONAL DETAILS...Travel could be dangerous to impossible
at times. Widespread blowing snow could significantly reduce
visibility. The hazardous conditions could impact the Thursday
morning or evening commute. Strong winds could cause extensive
damage to trees and power lines.
March 13 Local News Headline
The Bemidji Police Department responded to a Monday 6:50pm Welfare Check call of a child left unattended in a car. Upon arrival, it was found to be a vacuum cleaner with a spaghetti strainer on top. No action was needed.
- National Open An Umbrella Indoors Day.
- National Good Samaritan Day
- National Earmuff Day
- National Open an Umbrella Indoors Day
- National Coconut Torte Day
- National K9 Veterans Day
- National Jewel Day
- National Registered Dietitian Nutritionist Day
March 13 Riddle
Why are palindromes untrustworthy?*
March 13 Pun
They had been in Ankh-Morpork for three days and Granny was beginning to enjoy herself, much to her surprise. She had found them lodgings in The Shades, an ancient part of the city whose inhabitants were largely nocturnal and never inquired about one another's business because curiosity not only killed the cat but threw it in the river with weights tied to its feet. The lodgings were on the top floor next o the well-guarded premises of a respectable dealer in stolen property because, as Granny had heard, good fences make good neighbors. (from Equal Rites, Terry Pratchett)
March 13 Punctuation Point
Comma Splices
When joining two independent clauses, use a conjunction or a semicolon, not a comma. This kind of mistake is called a comma splice.
Incorrect: Roseau was out of Guinness, Chairman Joe went to the Warroad.
You can fix a comma splice by adding a conjunction or changing the comma to a semicolon.
Correct: Roseau was out of Guinness, and Chairman Joe went to Warroad.
Correct: Roseau was out of Guinness; Chairman Joe went to Warroad.
Or, you can simply write the two independent clauses as separate sentences.
Correct: Roseau was out of Guinness. Chairman Joe went to Warroad.
March 13 Notable Historic Events, Literary or Otherwise, from On This Day
- 607 12th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet.
- 1759 27th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet.
- 1781 William Herschel sees what he thinks is a "comet" but is actually the discovery of the planet Uranus.
- 1877 American Chester Greenwood patents earmuffs after inventing them at age 15 [hence, National Earmuff Day].
- 1925 Tennessee makes it unlawful to teach evolution.
- 1930 Clyde Tombaugh announces discovery of Pluto at Lowell Observatory [see March 13 birthdays for amazing coincidence].
- 1969 Apollo 9 returns to Earth.
March 13 Author/Artist Birthdays, from On This Day
- 1746 Maurus Haberhauer, Czech composer.
- 1798 Abigail Fillmore, first lady.
- 1855 Percival "Percy" Lowell, American astronomer [predicted discovery of Pluto].
- 1921 Al Jaffee, MAD Magazine comic strip cartoonist and illustrator.
- 1930 Shredder, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
Words-I-Looked-Up-This-Week Writer's Challenge
Make a single sentence (or poem) from the following words:
Make a single sentence (or poem) from the following words:
- alazony: pride, arrogance.
- blood-tax: tax paid by bloodshed; especially, a derogatory term for military conscription.
- ewiggestrige: [Inuit] those who are forever of yesterday.
- incunabulum: an early printed book, especially one printed before 1501.
- midden: a dunghill or refuse heap.
- patzer: a poor player, a novice.
- roxy: of fruit, overripe, almost rotten.
- sapper: a soldier responsible for tasks such as building and repairing roads and bridges, laying and clearing mines.
- scripturiency: passion for writing; an urge to write.
- squernt: the feeling upon finding that the previous occupant of the privy has used the last of the paper.
March 13 Word-Wednesday Feature
Picking up on today’s Punctuation Point, a writer of fiction or poetry may stylistically wish to convey information with minimal or no interruption of flow, often using one or both of two similar word forms - parataxis and polysyndeton.
Parataxis is the placing of clauses or phrases one after another, without words to indicate coordination or subordination. Polysyndeton is a stylistic device in which several coordinating conjunctions are used in succession in order to achieve an artistic effect, such as, “We have ships and men and money and stores.”
As Adam Gopnik noted in his January 28, 2019 New Yorker article, the most familiar form of parataxis and polysyndeton appears in the King James Bible and reflects the translating clergy’s attempts in 1611 to capture the meaning of the original with their limited knowledge of Hebrew. This resulted in passage like the following from 2 Kings 2:23-25:
23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
25 And he went from thence to mount Carmel, and from thence he returned to Samaria.
24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
25 And he went from thence to mount Carmel, and from thence he returned to Samaria.
Several Wannaskan Almanac contributors have voiced their aspirations to read James Joyce. To that end, Word-Wednesday presents the unabridged soliloquy by Molly Bloom from Ulysses, one of the most exceptional examples of both parataxis and polysyndeton:
no thats no way for him has he no manners nor no refinement nor no nothing in his nature slapping us behind like that on my bottom because I didnt call him Hugh the ignoramus that doesnt know poetry from a cabbage thats what you get for not keeping them in their proper place pulling off his shoes and trousers there on the chair before me so barefaced without even asking permission and standing out that vulgar way in the half of a shirt they wear to be admired like a priest or a butcher or those old hypocrites in the time of Julius Caesar of course hes right enough in his way to pass the time as a joke sure you might as well be in bed with what with a lion God Im sure hed have something better to say for himself an old Lion would O well I suppose its because they were so plump and tempting in my short petticoat he couldnt resist they excite myself sometimes its well for men all the amount of pleasure they get off a womans body were so round and white for them always I wished I was one myself for a change just to try with that thing they have swelling up on
you so hard and at the same time so soft when you touch it my uncle John has a thing long I heard those cornerboys saying passing the comer of Marrowbone lane my aunt Mary has a thing hairy because it was dark and they knew a girl was passing it didnt make me blush why should it either its only nature and he puts his thing long into my aunt Marys hairy etcetera and turns out to be you put the handle in a sweepingbrush men again all over they can pick and choose what they please a married woman or a fast widow or a girl for their different tastes like those houses round behind Irish street no but were to be always chained up theyre not going to be chaining me up no damn fear once I start I tell you for their stupid husbands jealousy why cant we all remain friends over it instead of quarrelling her husband found it out what they did together well naturally and if he did can he undo it hes coronado anyway whatever he does and then he going to the other mad extreme about the wife in Fair Tyrants of course the man never even casts a 2nd thought on the husband or wife either its the woman he wants and he gets her what else were we given all those desires for Id like to know I cant help it if Im young still can I its a wonder Im not an old shrivelled hag before my time living with him so cold never embracing me except sometimes when hes asleep the wrong end of me not knowing I suppose who he has any man thatd kiss a womans bottom Id throw my hat at him after that hed kiss anything unnatural where we havent I atom of any kind of expression in us all of us the same 2 lumps of lard before ever Id do that to a man pfooh the dirty brutes the mere thought is enough I kiss the feet of you senorita theres some sense in that didnt he kiss our halldoor yes he did what a madman nobody understands his cracked ideas but me still of course a woman wants to be embraced 20 times a day almost to make her look young no matter by who so long as to be in love or loved by somebody if the fellow you want isnt there sometimes by the Lord God I was thinking would I go around by the quays there some dark evening where nobodyd know me and pick up a sailor off the sea thatd be hot on for it and not care a pin whose I was only do it off up in a gate somewhere or one of those wildlooking gipsies in Rathfarnham had their camp pitched near the Bloomfield laundry to try and steal our things if they could I only sent mine there a few times for the name model laundry sending me back over and over some old ones odd stockings that blackguardlooking fellow with the fine eyes peeling a switch attack me in the dark and ride me up against the wall without a word or a murderer anybody what they do themselves the fine gentlemen in their silk hats that K C lives up somewhere this way coming out of Hardwicke lane the night he gave us the fish supper on account of winning over the boxing match of course it was for me he gave it I knew him by his gaiters and the walk and when I turned round a minute after just to see there was a woman after coming out of it too some filthy prostitute then he goes home to his wife after that only I suppose the half of those sailors are rotten again with disease O move over your big carcass out of that for the love of Mike listen to him the winds that waft my sighs to thee so well he may sleep and sigh the great Suggester Don Poldo de la Flora if he knew how he came out on the cards this morning hed have something to sigh for a dark man in some perplexity between 2 7s too in prison for Lord knows what he does that I dont know and Im to be slooching around down in the kitchen to get his lordship his breakfast while hes rolled up like a mummy will I indeed did you ever see me running Id just like to see myself at it show them attention and they treat you like dirt I dont care what anybody says itd be much better for the world to be governed by the women in it you wouldnt see women going and killing one another and slaughtering when do you ever see
women rolling around drunk like they do or gambling every penny they have and losing it on horses yes because a woman whatever she does she knows where to stop sure they wouldnt be in the world at all only for us they dont know what it is to be a woman and a mother how could they where would they all of them be if they hadnt all a mother to look after them what I never had thats why I suppose hes running wild now out at night away from his books and studies and not living at home on account of the usual rowy house I suppose well its a poor case that those that have a fine son like that theyre not satisfied and I none was he not able to make one it wasnt my fault we came together when I was watching the two dogs up in her behind in the middle of the naked street that disheartened me altogether I suppose I oughtnt to have buried him in that little woolly jacket I knitted crying as I was but give it to some poor child but I knew well Id never have another our 1st death too it was we were never the same since O Im not going to think myself into the glooms about
that any more I wonder why he wouldnt stay the night I felt all the time it was somebody strange he brought in instead of roving around the city meeting God knows who nightwalkers and pickpockets his poor mother wouldnt like that if she was alive ruining himself for life perhaps still its a lovely hour so silent I used to love coming home after dances the air of the night they have friends they can talk to weve none either he wants what he wont get or its some woman ready to stick her knife in you I hate that in women no wonder they treat us the way they do we are a dreadful lot of bitches I suppose its all the troubles we have makes us so snappy Im not like that he could easy have slept in there on the sofa in the other room I suppose he was as shy as a boy he being so young hardly 20 of me in the next room hed have heard me on the chamber arrah what harm Dedalus I wonder its like those names in Gibraltar Delapaz Delagracia they had the devils queer names there father Vilaplana of Santa Maria that gave me the rosary Rosales y OReilly in the Calle las Siete Revueltas and Pisimbo and Mrs Opisso in Governor street O what a name Id go and drown myself in the first river if I had a name like her O my and all the bits of streets Paradise ramp and Bedlam ramp and Rodgers ramp and Crutchetts ramp and the devils gap steps well small blame to me if I am a harumscarum I know I am a bit I declare to God I dont feel a day older than then I wonder could I get my tongue round any of the Spanish como esta usted muy bien gracias y usted see I havent forgotten it all I thought I had only for the grammar a noun is the name of any person place or thing pity I never tried to read that novel cantankerous Mrs Rubio lent me by Valera with the questions in it all upside down the two ways I always knew wed go away in the end I can tell him the Spanish and he tell me the Italian then hell see Im not so ignorant what a pity he didnt stay Im sure the poor fellow was dead tired and wanted a good sleep badly I could have brought him in his breakfast in bed with a bit of toast so long as I didnt do it on the knife for bad luck or if the woman was going her rounds with the watercress and something nice and tasty there are a few olives in the kitchen he might like I never could bear the look of them in Abrines I could do the criada the room looks all right since I changed it the other way you see something was telling me all the time Id have to introduce myself not knowing me from Adam very funny wouldnt it Im his wife or pretend we were in Spain with him half awake without a Gods notion where he is dos huevos estrellados senor Lord the cracked things come into my head sometimes itd be great fun supposing he stayed with us why not theres the room upstairs empty and Millys bed in the back room he could do his writing and studies at the table in there for all the scribbling he does at it and if he wants to read in bed in the morning like me as hes making the breakfast for I he can make it for 2 Im sure Im not going to take in lodgers off the street for him if he takes a gesabo of a house like this Id love to have a long talk with an intelligent welleducated person Id have to get a nice pair of red slippers like those Turks with the fez used to sell or yellow and a nice semitransparent morning gown that I badly want or a peachblossom dressing jacket like the one long ago in Walpoles only 8/6 or 18/6 111 just give him one more chance 111 get up early in the morning Im sick of Cohens old bed in any case I might go over to the markets to see all the vegetables and cabbages and tomatoes and carrots and all kinds of splendid fruits all coming in lovely and fresh who knows whod be the 1st man Id meet theyre out looking for it in the morning Mamy Dillon used to say they are and the night too that was her massgoing Id love a big juicy pear now to melt in your mouth like when I used to be in the longing way then 111 throw him up his eggs and tea in the moustachecup she gave him to make his mouth
bigger I suppose hed like my nice cream too I know what 111 do 111 go about rather gay not too much singing a bit now and then mi fa pieta Masetto then 111 start dressing myself to go out presto non son piu forte 111 put on my best shift and drawers let him have a good eyeful out of that to make his micky stand for him 111 let him know if thats what he wanted that his wife is I s 1 o fucked yes and damn well fucked too up to my neck nearly not by him 5 or 6 times handrunning theres the mark of his spunk on the clean sheet I wouldnt bother to even iron it out that ought to satisfy him if you dont believe me feel my belly unless I made him stand there and put him into me Ive a mind to tell him every scrap and make him do it out in front of me serve him right its all his own fault if I am an adulteress as the thing in the gallery said O much about it if thats all the harm ever we did in this vale of tears God knows its not much doesnt everybody only they hide it I suppose thats what a woman is supposed to be there for or He wouldnt have made us the way He did so attractive to men then if he wants to kiss my bottom 111 drag open my drawers and bulge it right out in his face as large as life he can stick his tongue 7 miles up my hole as hes there my brown part then 111 tell him I want LI or perhaps 30/ — 111 tell him I want to buy underclothes then if he gives me that well he wont be too bad I dont want to soak it all out of him like other women do I could often have written out a fine cheque for myself and write his name on it for a couple of pounds a few times he forgot to lock it up besides he wont spend it 111 let him do it off on me behind provided he doesnt smear all my good drawers O I suppose that cant be helped 111 do the indifferent 1 or 2 questions 111 know by the answers when hes like that he cant keep a thing back I know every turn in him 111 tighten my bottom well and let out a few smutty words smellrump or lick my shit or the first mad thing comes into my head then 111 suggest about yes O wait now sonny my turn is coming 111 be quite gay and friendly over it O but I was forgetting this bloody pest of a thing pfooh you wouldnt know which to laugh or cry were such a mixture of plum and apple no 111 have to wear the old things so much the better itll be more pointed hell never know whether he did it or not there thats good enough for you any old thing at all then 111 wipe him off me just like a business his omission then 111 go out 111 have him eying up at the ceiling where is she gone now make him want me thats the only way a quarter after what an unearthly hour I suppose theyre just getting up in China now combing out their pigtails for the day well soon have the nuns ringing the angelus theyve nobody coming in to spoil their sleep except an odd priest or two for his night office or the alarmclock next door at cockshout clattering the brains out of itself let me see if I can doze off 1 2 3 4 5 what kind of flowers are those they invented like the stars the wallpaper in Lombard street was much nicer the apron he gave me was like that something only I only wore it twice better lower this lamp and try again so as I can get up early 111 go to Lambes there beside Findlaters and get them to send us some flowers to put about the place in case he brings him home tomorrow today I mean no no Fridays an unlucky day first I want to do the place up someway the dust grows in it I think while Im asleep then we can have music and cigarettes I can accompany him first I must clean the keys of the piano with milk whatll I wear shall I wear a white rose or those fairy cakes in Liptons I love the smell of a rich big shop at 7 l/2d a lb or the other ones with the cherries in them and the pinky sugar 1 Id a couple of lbs of those a nice plant for the middle of the table Id get that cheaper in wait wheres this I saw them not long ago I love flowers Id love to have the whole place swimming in roses God of heaven theres nothing like nature the wild mountains then the sea and the waves rushing then the beautiful country with the fields of oats and wheat and all kinds of things and all the fine cattle going about that would do your heart good to see rivers and lakes and flowers all sorts of shapes and smells and colours springing up even out of the ditches primroses and violets nature it is as for them saying theres no God I wouldnt give a snap of my two fingers for all their learning why dont they go and create something I often asked him atheists or whatever they call themselves go and wash the cobbles off themselves first then they go howling for the priest and they dying and why why because theyre afraid of hell on account of their bad conscience ah yes I know them well who was the first person in the universe before there was anybody that made it all who ah that they dont know neither do I so there you are they might as well try to stop the sun from rising tomorrow the sun shines for you he said the day we were lying among the rhododendrons on Howth head in the grey tweed suit and his straw hat the day I got him to propose to me yes first I gave him the bit of seedcake out of my
mouth and it was leapyear like now yes 16 years ago my God after that long kiss I near lost my breath yes he said I was a flower of the mountain yes so we are flowers all a womans body yes that was one true thing he said in his life and the sun shines for you today yes that was why I liked him because I saw he understood or felt what a woman is and I knew I could always get round him and I gave him all the pleasure I could leading him on till he asked me to say yes and I wouldnt answer first only looked out over the sea and the sky I was thinking of so many things he didnt know of Mulvey and Mr Stanhope and Hester and father and old captain Groves and the sailors playing all birds fly and I say stoop and washing up dishes they called it on the pier and the sentry in front of the governors house with the thing round his white helmet poor devil half roasted and the Spanish girls laughing in their shawls and their tall combs and the auctions in the morning the Greeks and the jews and the Arabs and the devil knows who else from all the ends of Europe and Duke street and the fowl market all clucking outside Larby Sharons and the poor donkeys slipping half asleep and the vague fellows in the cloaks asleep in the shade on the steps and the big wheels of the carts of the bulls and the old castle thousands of years old yes and those handsome Moors all in white and turbans like kings asking you to sit down in their little bit of a shop and Ronda with the old windows of the posadas 2 glancing eyes a lattice hid for her lover to kiss the iron and the wineshops half open at night and the castanets and the night we missed the boat at Algeciras the watchman going about serene with his lamp and O that awful deepdown torrent O and the sea the sea crimson sometimes like fire and the glorious sunsets and the figtrees in the Alameda gardens yes and all the queer little streets and the pink and blue and yellow houses and the rosegardens and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as a girl where I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.
If you actually read the entire soliloquy, you can reasonably consider starting Finnegans Wake.
Be better than yesterday, learn a new word today, try to stay out of trouble - at least until tomorrow, and write when you have the time.
*They always go back on their words.
Finnegans Wake, you say? I'll consider it fer shure. Well, that was a romp of the mind, I'll tell you and I haven't even had me coffee yet. I'm rather aroused for some reason, though I suspect it's only because I'm a man, albeit a dirty 'old' man. While we can revisit that past life, it's for naught but a smile or chuckle of when we were so ignorant (or restrained), yet had the forethought not to pass up the opportunity or we'd regret it as old men. And here we are; it was a romp. Thank ye.
ReplyDeleteA poem in memory of the Bemidji police report of a child abandoned in a car that turned out to be a sieve on a vacuum cleaner.
ReplyDeleteScripturiency's urge has come over me,
So drop your devices and sit on my knee.
I've paid my blood-taxes as well as my dues.
So listen up kindly and please do not snooze.
For folks ewiggestrige, I'm a sapper of middens.
For those folks in the outhouse where dark deeds are hidden.
With sheets incunabulam they wipe their fat rears,
With Wards of Montgomy and even some Sears.
Each kibo I clean I do with alazony,
But some squerenty patzer left me feeling quite roxy.
So I ran down to Walmart to pick up some rolls,
Where that cop thought my Hoover was a little kid; lols.
So we had a good laugh and said our farewells.
I thought his job stunk, he said that mine smells.
Scripturiency: writer's unblock
Blood-tax: what GI Joe pays for you
Ewiggestrige: old-ways lover
Sapper: underminer
Midden: heaps that tell all
Incunabulam: old books
Alazony: Pride
Squerent: worst feeling ever, no TP when you need it.
Patzer: taker of last square of TP
Roxy: rotten
You're getting better and better; iambic pentameter, to boot!
DeleteI agree with Joe S about your "better and better." Where you use Joe S' list of words for your poetic endeavors, I will share one of my "secret" approaches to finding le mot juste: whenever I am reading or listening, my eyes and ears (and heart antennae are tuned to words and small phrases that sparkle for me, that are unusual (not obscure), and are lively, and apropos to a piece of writing that I am working on. I also put the words/phrases on a list for future reference as well. I have a small compilation of such gleanings that I may refer to prior to writing a particular piece. So now you know where some of my weirder word choices come from. Take that you verbal impresario. JPSavage
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