Today’s post completes the Third Song, “Iciclestars.” Soon enough, we will find our way into the fourth Song and beyond, but for now, let’s stay with the unusual perspective offered in this chapter of The One. You will notice that italics appear about half the time in this segment. This time, the italics signify a return to our theme of the sea; however, this time something nearly evil lurks under the waves and beyond. When the poem returns to “reality,” the main character is again feeling left out and alone – different beyond the ordinary meaning of the word; yet, there is hope for the future – a time and place and person that will make all right with the world. The last third of this segment once again presents in italics, but the tone and mood are different. Fear and dread play large, and the sea has two faces in this descriptive scene. In short, this segment of “Iciclestars” is as confused as an adolescent charged with hormones. Read with that in mind.
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On the bare shore I stand facing the sea
one eye sweeps the waves, other sees beneath
spanning the ocean floor long rows of graves
rough-pocked altar stones and upon each one
a crescent body trailing rotting limbs
floating fragments of the dead drift away
toward decomposed invisibility
while I still breathe, a singularity
Three separate views - above, below - between
Among the rooted graves -- a gray shape moves
clouded eyes snap open -- spot me on shore
with one-pointed strokes swims up through the dank
up through sea floor – up through sea – dead-reckoned
for me
Just before it leaps on me, I turn and
run down murky roads under moonlight’s pall
My ashen track hid in mist – scudding clouds
splinter moon’s white light, while the brutish beast
behind me gains ground and scents my prey-heat
I run wildly, but the gap closes fast
I can’t outstretch or lose this tireless one
Down shadowed hall I run full on in gloom
At the hall’s eclipsed end, I stop to breathe –
to see the other before it sees me
The were-thing wants to take me down rest me
upon a crude, harsh sea stone, tethered yet
not drowned
Breathing hard I wait and stare unblinking
toward the light, toward the hall’s end, tethered yet
not bound
I stand staring hard from the shaded end
Asudden –I am ripped and pulled and dragged
out of the night’s shade surrounding me, and
the death-scented creature jumps and clasps my back
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day, I ask myself why so many
steal looks at me as if I am marked “strange”
or with an ugly stain that sickens them
Fear and coldness toward me in every stare
as if two ends of a perilous bridge
stretched long between them at one end and me
What is it they know that I cannot guess?
and what do they see when they stare at me?
an alien fish-beast from foreign seas?
I look at them with no cruelty in mind
To me, they appear undone – some dull, some
ruthless – and when it suits them, sometimes kind
They see I am not like them and I know
I see this clearly when they look at me --
I come from something fresh out of starfields --
audacious adventurer daring life
for now, unknown – yet coming if I wait
Perhaps someone needs to come first and then
together we will travel nameless roads
and do courageous things and take great risks
This must come first – I must be found before
I go – before I leave this wearisome shore
If I’m so different, my path must be too
This must be the truth. This is why they stare
so I must watch, be ready and prepare
Prepare, wait, write the first lines of my song
about the grand day when someone comes along
When finally, I can walk free from all this
because I’m different and they’re all alike
No one sees the changes in me and like
always they veer away – won’t say my name –
I’m the one who has changed! They are the same.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’m a great sailor far out on the sea
watching from the oak mast green waves thunder
breaking backs against the black, creaking hull
under jagged lightning cracking the void
Bellowing storm-calls loud my very name
a low wail on stalking wind rises up
fear – blackest of waves – grips deeper my core
Yet just my name -- no one else – nothing more
Dread tethers me tighter to oaken mast
The gray-green sea breaks harsh thundering past
The fearsome waves loving the shrieking wind
hurl white crests, plummet down troughs, heave up again
I strain in wonder before the great mast
will the next bright wave take me down at last?
to drowning both a loss and liberty
or will I beat on to sheer infinity?
Background:
We all have nightmares from time to time. The first part of this segment is just that: a terrible nightmare. Have you ever been chased in your dreams? If so, you will know how our protagonist feels; however, more than a few folks throughout history believe that dreams have significant meaning and with the right tools can be interpreted. The main character of this epic not only believes in dreams, but also experiences them in living color. One might say the protagonist is identified and immersed in the dreams. Are they prophetic? Do they represent the past, the present, the future? As said before, the entire epic alternates back and forth between what we call reality – but that is a convenient term for what we all agree are the conventional understanding of the world, as we think we see it. A chair is a chair. Or is it? A human being is just an animal. Or is he? To challenge this version of reality, this epic dips in and out of what Buddhism calls “absolute reality,” an understanding that goes beyond the everyday “knowledge” we think to be true. We won’t get any deeper than this, for now, but just wanted present a challenge to think beyond the usual way we see and experience things.
Exploration #1: In Songs one and two, the narrator presents the sea as a kind of home, a comforting presence that when left behind causes much angst on shore. What is your take on why the ocean has taken on a malevolent aura?
Exploration #2: What is chasing the narrator in the opening dream? What does the “creature” symbolize (could be more than one answer here)?
Exploration #3: When you were about middle school age, did you ever fear that you were just too different from your classmates? How much did that matter? Were you able to maintain a semblance of personal esteem? Did you hold on to your dreams?
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