5 August 2019 Dogs Writing Classic Poems

Today’s guest poets come from those called man’s best friend(s). Actually, they had some help from R.D. Rosen, Harry Prichett, and Rob Battles who put together dozens of poems compiled in their book, Throw the Damn Ball: Classic Poetry by Dogs, published by Penguin Group, New York, in 2013. Mr. Rosen once studied poetry with Robert Lowell and Elizabeth Bishop. Mr. Pritchett’s claim to fame is the comedic world. Mr. Battles, as stated in the book’s bio section, “has relied on humor to avoid beatings since the third grade.”

Dozens of poems grace this book; however, I’ve selected the ones that speak to the art of writing itself, and to poems that definitely capture the dog’s mind.

Ode to Odes

I positively salivate

over writing that I consider great.

I’m forever and ever on the prowl

for the perfect procession of consonant and vowel

Nothing compares to discovering the sonnet

that moves me so much that I want to pee on it.

                                                                        Cosmo / New Rochelle, New York

What I Look for in a Poem

What I look for in a poem is grace

in which each word knows its place

And metaphors flow out of sense

And there’s consistency of tense

I look for poems about rabies

or the threat posed by dogs to babies,

That focus on scabies or skin conditions

Or dogs who can’t control their emissions

But all of it done in extremely good taste!

Because a poem is a horrible thing to waste.

                                                                        Sir Knighton Jackson / Ashland, Massachusetts

I Wish I Were a Rabbit

I wish I were a rabbit

hopping to and fro.

I wish I were a rabbit,

not an eagle or a doe.

For if I were a rabbit,

Soft and snowy white,

I’d be getting laid,

Every day and every night.

                                                                        Brutus / Coral Springs, Florida

Throw the Damn Ball

Why do you abuse me?

You throw it, then confuse me.

It’s tiresome the way you mimic a toss.

What’s the point of pointing out who’s boss?

Please don’t tease me. Why do you stall?

Goddammit, you human – just throw the damn ball!

                                                                        Oscar / New York City, New York

Background

I admit it: I’m a serious dog-mom. Very few years in my six decades of life have found me without a canine companion or two. I’ve had five German Shepherds; my current girl is Willa, who is my service dog. She’s a marvel. We also make a home for a one-year-old Shelty, Sancho – like Don Quixote’s sidekick. I could go on for a very long time singing the glories of having a dog in your life. It’s so wonderful that some people who have experienced the death of their pet say, “I’m never going to have another dog. It hurts too much when they die.” Once, when I said these very words, my husband provided a retort: “So, you are going to miss a decade or more of fun, companionship, and even love, because it hurts when the dog leaves you?” Well, that turned my attitude around pronto. 

Yes, what we love leaves. What arrives in our lives departs, one way or another. Yet, turning our backs to joy just because where there’s joy, pain abides, is like choosing not to have an ice cream cone because it might drip on your shirt.

Explorations

Exploration #1: Think about the dogs in your life, and/or in the lives of family and friends. Which ones stand out for you, and why?

Exploration #2: Is it wrong to anthropomorphize dogs (or any animal)? 

Exploration #3: How well do the authors capture the “dog’s mind”?