We have all experienced it. That happy little trip to the bakery. That enticing and irresistible golden topping on a donut. The unavoidable purchase. The anxious anticipation...is it caramel? Is it maple? Then...the first bite...and the sting of disappointment. Some sick person has covered that pastry with peanut butter icing. Ah, the frustration. Peanut butter. Might as well have eaten a piece of broccoli or celery.
Don't get me wrong. I am not anti-peanut, or more precisely, not anti-peanut butter frosting. It is just that it needs to be labeled. People should be aware of the flavor of frosting so they do not get PTSD...Post Tasting Stress Disorder.
This all came to a head because I went to a luncheon the other day. They had the most amazing looking cake there. It had thick brown frosting which looked to me to be caramel. I knocked over several people getting to the front of the line. Once there I greedily grabbed a giant piece of that cake. Then, like Gollum, I retreated to a table by myself and stared excitedly at my precious...piece of cake.
I will say there was more than one drop of drool appearing at the corners of my mouth. Forget the meat. Forget the scalloped potatoes. I went right for that golden piece of sheet cake. Then...you guessed it...my mouth turned dry and my heart sank to my knees as I tasted peanut butter frosting. What a tragedy. This easily bumped what I could remember of the Hindenberg disaster from my mind!
Then I was faced with the eyes of senior ladies. Was it that one's cake I was eating? I dare not spit it out. I chewed it...pretended to savor it...and swallowed. Drool turned to dry as I sheepishly forked my ham and potatoes. I knew that I was going to have to go back to that deceptive cake. I could still feel those senior ladies' eyes all over me.
I finished it. Deliberately and on the surface politely I cleaned my plate. I stopped for a caramel milkshake on the way home. The restaurant got it right. The world was safe again...but for how long?
Damn you're good Cocoa Man! I like the pace and timing of this post; its cerebral connection with the Lord of The Rings character Gollum, that even I could hear it utter, " My precious." Heh heh. "Peanut butter. Might as well have eaten a piece of broccoli or celery. " I laughed right out loud -- even before my first sip of coffee. Your blog is a great way to start the day! Thank you buddy!
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ReplyDeleteGollum always carried a vial of maple syrup for emergencies like yours.
Ha ha. You guys crack me up!
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