Sunday News

 

The Palmville Globe Volume 2 Number 22

Man Makes Things Go

Joe McDonnell, 79 and a resident of Palmville Twp, Minnesota, and his wife Teresa, also residing in Palmville, recently purchased their first hybrid vehicle. "The vehicle requires some getting used to," McDonnell tells reporters. "We decided to take a cross country trip to familiarize ourselves with the controls and work out any bugs. One day after I was just getting used to having to wait for the green"Ready" light on the dash to come on before putting the vehicle in drive, we pulled into a scenic overlook in a remote area. After enjoying the view, I tried backing up and the vehicle would not move. In fact the "check engine" light was on. I was about to call our after-care specialist at the dealership. My wife said there was no cell service and suggested I turn everything off, wait 30 seconds,  and start over. I'm not sure what I had done wrong, but starting over solved the problem." In a later communication, McDonnell says they reached their destination without any further issues. "The no-go situation on our trip reaffirmed my faith in the power of the reboot," he says.

Man Ignores Rules

Joe McDonnell, 79 and a lukewarm sports fan, recently competed in a friendly game of cornhole. "I really wanted to be watching soccer," McDonnell tells reporters. "I only take an interest in soccer every four years during the World Cup when I root for the underdogs. I don't understand the rules of soccer and after we started the cornhole game I discovered I didn't understand cornhole's basic rules either. I thought the person beside me was my teammate which was incorrect. I should have been cheering when my wife, who was my actual teammate, got her bag in the hole instead of groaning. I didn’t understand how the scoring worked either and wondered why I never got my full three points for the few times I got the bag in the hole." In a follow up email McDonnell reported that his soccer team's game ended in a draw which was as good as a win for them. "I don't understand how that works and I don't need to understand to enjoy it," he says.

Squib Cellar

God is love

Am I an inattentive lover?

That would be almost unforgivable 

The Catholic Church is the 

World’s biggest tent

And here is the proof -

(Which doesn’t make sense)

It’s a church with no roof

Isn’t the current dystopia bad enough without having to make up others featuring AI and Big Brother. 

We show a high level of low self-esteem when we think AI can think better than us. 

AI is no more likely to achieve consciousness than a ventriloquist’s dummy will get married and have kids. 

Is this AI’s dirty little secret? - When I ask AI to research something, the response sounds like it’s written by a college student.