Just Sometimes

Ever wake up feeling worn and wilted? Slept okay, but, like a stuck clutch, life feels disjointed. On days like that, I feel like a caged monkey. My arms stretch in opposition, and my feet don't know where they are headed. The day before may have ended in crisp, clear tones, but on off days, I feel like I'm caught in a cottony web that muffles everything. As kids, we'd toss it off, laugh, and say we woke up on the wrong side of the bed. As life grows more ponderous and full of challenges, a case of morning blues isn't funny. 

In an earlier post, I blithely celebrated leisurely breakfasts. Today, I'm talking about funky wake-up moments. Misery loves company, right? I got curious and sent an email query asking how folks restart when they wake up feeling stalled. Besides coffee or tea, what gets you going on down days? I asked. Here are some excerpts from their responses. 

One person emailed me saying she turns to music, prayer, meditation, and inspirational reading. Another quickly spoke up for many who find regular exercise helps reset a down day. Deep breathing also rates highly as a way to shift gears. Someone else said the pressure of work responsibilities and the shame of not meeting them keeps her from wallowing. Another said he consciously picks a task and thinks about things he can do and accomplish, which makes him feel better and gets him going. 

Connecting with friends and family topped another person's list of go-tos. This respondent saves funny pictures from FB or photos of the kids to send and enjoys the emoji responses that can result in a friendly morning phone call when time allows. An additional important morning starter for her is to be goal-oriented. She likes to keep busy with a daily plan to finish something. This might be as simple as putting in a load of laundry, but she prioritizes scheduled events with friends, especially outdoor activities. On most days, she says she picks sneakers over slippers and lists yoga, cards, mahjong, plays, concerts, book club, tennis, pickleball, and walking, in that order. On days when she feels like she has to push[herself] out the door, she'll optimize the downtime by resting, and then a plan materializes. On very down days, she considers how her actions affect others and motivates herself by reflecting on how her life might be a good example to her loved ones. 

I wondered if anyone would have time to reply when I sent my query email. These were generous responses and were making my day!

Yet another respondent defines a down day experience not as a struggle but as a chance to renew intentional prayer practices that support and nurture [her] experience of connection to God and herself. For her, the power of these prayerful exchanges removes any sense of failure or laxity. Instead, she celebrates her desire and love for God. She cites St. Benedict's encouragement that we are all beginners as a source of inspiration. On days when enthusiasm for her life lags, she relies instead on her faithfulness and protects herself from distraction through silence and inspirational music. Very often, she adds, those days turn out to be most fruitful and memorable.

More than one email response ended up in enthusiastic phone conversations. One talk was with a woman who put her comments in the context of being on the last quarter of life's path. For her, mornings have come to require a new openness. She said we might know what we have on our agenda but has come to recognize that the morning can bring news that alters the course of things, and adjustments must be made. She spoke about the natural fear and anxiety that arise during challenging circumstances, the way a crisis can upset everyday expected routines, and the peaceful nature of ordinary time because of new requirements necessary for the care of a loved one. Because of her experience, she's come to wake with an eagerness to cozy down in her chair when she can and enjoy the comfortable assurance alone time brings to journal, read, and pray. 

Ironically, my query found one person smack dab amid what she called a down moment. She woke up feeling off on that particular day for no apparent reason. For her, my question normalized the ebbs and flows of moods, and the opportunity to explore the question helped her feel less alone. She said it's so easy on such mornings to get total amnesia around what works, such as being intentional and taking action. She went on to say, I always find it fascinating how much taking one small action out of love takes me out of my depression soup. To do that, she tries to take one present moment at a time, to get out of herself and her head, and to be more other-directed by reaching out to others. She elaborated, stating that at her best, she realizes that the dips in life are normal, and she sees them as necessary. I can't always be at the summit with wind in my hair and a clear and glorious view. Sometimes, I'm at the bottom with ice picks…one move at a time. She laughingly acknowledged her desire to sink into the hole for eternity and stressed the work it takes to go against that temptation and take a leap of faith [knowing] that one intentional step will lead to another. Before she knows it, she finds herself on less rocky terrain by connecting with and focusing on others.

Each one of these responses illustrates the power words have to transform. I woke up feeling crummy one day, decided to ask around, and I'm glad I did. Thank you to each of the single voices here. Together, they combine into a harmony that might help on some gloomy morning should we wake up wrong and need it. 

The last two resonated with my poet's heart. With permission from the authors, I tinkered with line endings to present them as such. Here's the first spirited one:

Instead of noticing what's not quite right

Stiff neck, crunchy shoulders, tight jaw, restless legs  

Sometimes, I try to turn grumpiness into gratitude

I wake and notice. 

Ah, wow, I'm alive!

Made it to another day.

I open my eyes.

They see!

Put my feet on the floor.

They feel!

I can stand. I can move. 

I am grateful.

Just sometimes, as the next piece reads, we all need a prayer of hope and the grace of compassion. Here's her expression of that.

Almost every day, when I wake up, 

before getting out of bed, 

I remind myself (thanking God) for the many good things in my life. 

Thank you, God, for the air in my lungs, 

the family and friends who love me, 

my comfortable bed and roof over my head, 

and our ability to afford it. 

Knowing that many do not, I realize my life is good, 

I can handle problems that come our way. 

Sometimes, when down, 

I bring myself out of myself 

and

Open my eyes to the beauty that I know is all around me. 

Just sometimes, 

I need to work harder to see it. 

Giving up is not an option; 

otherwise, it's game over. 

(and sometimes)

A short cry can be a good release.

Just sometimes

 

P.S.

Readers who are interested in responding to future prompts, email me at silentspring.gg@gmail.com.

I'll include you in my next topical query.