The 5th Grader Makes Her Blogging Debut

Hello and welcome to a foggy Saturday here at the Wannaskan Almanac. Today is September 17th.

I have a running joke with kids: "Who takes out the garbage?" I yell across the house. "Nobody!" they yell back. "That's my middle name!" I counter. Hardy-har-har.

Well, now, it actually is nobody.

As I transition to a new work life that includes a boss (instead of clients), an office (that isn't in my home), and working hours that are fixed (instead of what works for my schedule), the home side of life has completely shifted. Who cooks dinner? Who does the laundry? Who feeds the cats?

Well, it used to be me. Yes, kids did contribute to the running of the household, but looking back - that hindsight is 20/20 thing - I can now see just how many times I cleaned up, picked up, and organized everyone anyway. And what my perfect vision sees is that I did it A LOT.

I'm one month into the new job, two weeks into the new school year, and hubby is out of the country installing and painting windows and doors for family in the Czech Republic. Life as we knew it has gone completely out the window. Our family routine is, well, what family routine?!

Kids have stepped up their game. Bigly.

On the first day of school, the 5th Grader was out to the kitchen first slicing the apples, followed by the WAKWIR* who did the carrots. I was so nervous about getting to work on time, I nearly forgot to make the peanut butter & jelly sandwiches. (I had managed to make a hot oatmeal breakfast early, so two parent points for that win.)

While dad's away, it's been a bit of a free-for-all, i.e. cereal for breakfast, snack, and dinner. I managed to cook one meal last Sunday that has done leftovers duty all week, propped up with fresh salad every night. A friend of mine has a fixed Friday Pizza night - and now I understand why.

Kids are learning to take care of the cats without my prompting and are looking out for each other. The laundry? Well, Rome wasn't built in a day, eh?

Last night, I said to the kids, "Ack! My blog post! What am I going to do?"

No joke, I offered the WAKWIR a hundred bucks (as in $100 cash) to write the blog post for me. I owed him some backpay anyway for past blog posts, so I figured it was a reasonable sum. (Who am I kidding? It was a rationalization that correlated with the desperation I felt.)

The 5th Grader piped up,."I'll do it for $50!"

The WAKWIR reminded his sister that the blog post starting pay was $1 a paragraph. This is true and is also how I got him to keep writing for me occasionally (and when I was less desperate) after the novelty of blogging wore off.

We haggled, bartered, and negotiated until we landed on an agreement: A dollar a paragraph it would be.

She went to work.

What follows is her blogging debut.

The Things My Little Brother Does to Me

- by Lucie Hruba, aka the 5th grader!!

The day I cleaned my own room it felt great. But when school started, Antonin kept leaving his clothes on the floor and I had to keep cleaning up after him. I always clean my room because if my room is clean, I am happy. But when my room is messy, I am mad because I have to pick up after Antonin!!! I keep telling Antonin to pick up his clothes, but he is like: "No, I am not going to do it." So I do it. I pick up his garbage and other stuff.

When Antonin says no, I cry. Mom and David (who both let me do the blog post!) are powerful which means they can boss Antonin around to be helpful. But when I do it he never listens to me! Every time I see something on the floor, I yell, "Antonin! Clean up your stuff!" and he completely ignores me. I always cry because Antonin never listens to me. I always had the dream to have my own room because no little brother wakes you up at 3:00 in the morning just to go downstairs to sleep with mom and dad.

Even after school, after one bowl of cereal, he's like: "I am going to watch TV." When I say no, he watches TV anyway, and then I watch TV with him even though I know mom won't like it. When I ask Antonin for toilet paper, he is like: "No. Get it yourself." I kept yelling at him until he got me the toilet paper. When I ask Antonin to do anything, he always says, "NO! NO! NO!!!" When mom comes home to tell Antonin to do his homework, I say, "I told you to do your homework before mom came home." He does his homework angrily at night after dinner.

Antonin thinks I am mean to him, but I’m not. I tell him to do his stuff so mom won't get mad. Once when he said no, I hit him, and he said, "Ow! Why did you hit me?!" "Because you didn't listen to me!" He told mom that I hit him. I explained to mom and she made a point to him explaining why I hit him.

One time when Antonin and I played outside, I tickled his belly when he was upside down on the hanging bar. When he said stop, I didn't stop until he flipped down. Then he chased me until I was out of breath. He beat me up until I cried.

Antonin always wants stuff that other people have, like electronics, which means phones, tablets, PS4, virtual reality devices, TVs, etc. He wants a phone so he can play games, call people, and text people. I have a flip phone because I asked Dad to have the green, useless flip phone that doesn't even have service! David has a PS4. He lets us play Minecraft on it. When Antonin is mad at me he tries to kill me in Minecraft. Another way that Antonin shows he is mad on Minecraft is by saving and quitting when he doesn't want to play anymore.  I still want to play Minecraft, but I can't because I don’t know how to get back on Minecraft without David's help.

Antonin is afraid of the dark, so if he wants to watch TV, he takes something of mine and goes downstairs. I say, "Hey! Give that back!" When he gives me my thing, I go back upstairs to play by myself. When Antonin gets kicked off the TV, he always cries and complains about how he barely watches TV. But mom says, "Enough TV time; time to do your homework." He cries and cries until 7:00 at night when he finally finishes his homework.

Antonin doesn’t trust me because I am his "mean" big sister, but he is the one who can make me cry in 5 words!!!  Because Antonin is younger, when he makes me cry, he wins the fight.

That's it for this week!! It was fun typing with you!! 

– The 5th Grader!!

On This Day

Historic Highlights (credits)

1978 - Camp David Accords are signed

The Camp David Accords were signed by Egyptian President Anwar El Sadat and Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin. The accords were the precursor to the 1974 Egypt-Israel Peace Treaty

1939 - Man runs 10,000 meters in less than 30 minutes for the first time in recorded history

Finnish runner, Taisto Mäki, broke his previous record by running the distance in 29 minutes, 52 seconds.

1894 - A day after Japan wins the Battle of Pyongyang it defeats China in the Battle of the Yalu River

Also known as the Battle of the Yellow Sea, the conflict was fought between Japan and China during the First Sino-Japanese War.

1862 - Bloodiest Single Day of the American Civil War takes place

The Battle of Antietam was fought near Antietam Creek in Sharpsburg, Maryland. Thought to be the deadliest single day of the American Civil War – at least 4,000 soldiers on both sides died – the battle ended Confederate General Robert E. Lee's incursion into the North. While there were no clear victors, many believed that the withdrawal of Confederate soldiers from the battlefield before the Union Army -meant that the Union had won the battle.

1809 - Treaty of Fredrikshamn is signed between Sweden and Russia

Also known as the Treaty of Hamina, it concluded the Finnish War and ceded Swedish territories, which later formed Finland to Russia.

Happy Birthday to You!🎶 

1985 - Tomáš Berdych, Czech tennis player

1975 - Jimmie Johnson, American race car driver

1923 - Hank Williams, American singer-songwriter, guitarist

1915 - M. F. Husain, Indian painter, director

1879 - Periyar E. V. Ramasamy, Indian businessman, politician, activist

Remembering You

1997 - Red Skelton, American actor, comedian

1996 - Spiro Agnew, American politician, 39th Vice President of the United States

1994 - Karl Popper, Austrian/English philosopher

1948 - Ruth Benedict, American anthropologist

1179 - Hildegard of Bingen, German saint, philosopher, composer

Cha-ching, cha-ching for the 5th Grader.

Kim  

*Wannaskan Almanac Kid Writer-in-Residence