When your dear friend commences to bitch and to moan,
He doesn’t want tips but your ear for his own.
When he’s vented enough and he wants good advice,
He’ll get off his high horse and turns to his wife.
God is good and God is great
But there are some things we all hate
It’s hard to sing a praiseful song
When what we pray for comes out wrong
In carpentry no one tries to square the circle. But there's lots of squaring of the triangle, which is almost as hard.
When their texts go unanswered
When they’re feeling alone
The saints don’t get angry
They just blame their phone
We are such a mixture of good and bad.
If only our faults were like bugs on the grapes instead of like spice in the sauce.
Most of some churches’ spirituality is in their flashing neon sign.
If a website tells you such and such is the most extreme thing in the world, another site will find you something more extremer.
The suitcase of bargain beer has grown from 24 to 30 cans. But it will never grow bigger than the mid-career alcoholic can manage in the overhead.
Burn, burn the wooden horse
Burn it on the beach
Once it passes through the gate
The walls will all be breached
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