Hello and welcome to another Saturday at the Wannaskan Almanace. Today is May 16th.
Last Saturday, the Wannaskan Almanac Kid Writer-in-Residence (aka WAKWIR) provided the weekly blog post while I enjoyed the best Mother’s Day weekend in the history of my own set of Mother’s Days so far.
It started Sunday morning when the WAKWIR and the Second Grader stood by my bed like dogs waiting to go outside or like cats staring down their owners. (Whichever your preferred pet analogy.)
“Happy Mother’s Day!” they shouted. “We brought you breakfast in bed!”
I was deeply entangled in a weird dream in which I was fleeing across the country, making my way to California, on the run from the law, and stealing from some nice people who were helping me out. I wanted their green t-shirt but was afraid they (the helpers, one of which who looked like Charlize Theron) would recognize it by the hole along the shoulder seam, so I cut the shirt.
Puzzling over that weird logic, coupled with the cat stares followed by the “Happy Mother’s Day!” shriek, peeled my eyes open. Honestly, I was glad to have emerged from the strange dream. Just maybe not at 7:20 am.
Breakfast included a scrambled egg cooked in a cup, chocolate ice cream with two chocolate cookies in a fancy tulip dish, and coffee. All in bed. I don’t remember the last time I had breakfast in bed – if ever. (Candy at midnight, now that’s a different thing.)
Around noon, hubby surprised me with another brunch of eggs, sausage links, and toast. Sausage links! I love sausage links! I can’t remember the last time we had sausage links! In the afternoon, kids gifted me with peanut M&Ms, dark chocolate peanut M&Ms, AND Reese’s peanut butter cups. I couldn't remember the last time I'd raked in that much chocolaty loot for a Mother's Day.
For dinner, hubby grilled steak – a treat in itself because we rarely eat beef. (Get it? “Rarely?”) He and the Oldest even baked an apple berry pie and no one begrudged me the second piece and it went without saying that the very last piece would go to mom.
A few not-to-be-named family members exhibited some crabbiness around 10:30 pm. I teased them that Cinderella's coach was already turning back into a pumpkin and it wasn’t even midnight. I had to cut them a little slack though because, honestly, I don’t remember the last time I had a Mother’s Day that was so absolutely the best this mom could have hoped for.
I learned way back before I had kids that there’s no such thing as a perfect mom. In college, I met the mom of two friends who I was sure was the perfect mom. She was so informed, articulate, and knowledgeable about the world. She was always up for adventure, interested and engaged in her kids’ lives, kind to everybody, and was dedicated to her family as equally as she was to her job. She had impeccable manners, impressive social savvy, prudence, and a great laugh.
When I spent time with my friends' mom, all I could see was her shiny halo and angel wings in contrast to all of my own mom’s scruffy parts: not much of a cook, never baked, not into sewing matchy-matchy outfits for us kids, not part of the mom cheerleading squad that followed the volleyball team around to every game. Even though my mom had other redeeming qualities like going for walks with me, listening to my incessant chatter, giving me a car, and supporting me when I decided to take a gap year as an exchange student in Belgium instead of go to college - I really thought my girlfriends had gotten the best pick in the perfect mom lottery.
Then one day, one of the friends complained about her perfect-to-me mom. How her mom hadn't been there for her in the way she thought she should have been, how she was overprotective, how she didn’t listen. Flabbergasted, dumbstruck, shocked, horrified – pick your adjective for my reaction.
That’s when I realized: there’s no such thing as a perfect mom.
A mom should never strive to be perfect because, no matter how hard you try, your kids will find some fault in your personality, your parenting, or both.
That epiphany was a saving grace actually. A real blessing. I came into parenting knowing that, at some point, my kids would decide I had screwed it up in some way or another. And so, rather than focusing on being perfect or "the best", my single aim has been for my kids to see me as a human mom. That I am wholly, completely, unarguably, indefatigably imperfect.
And I am really okay with that.
Kim
Last Saturday, the Wannaskan Almanac Kid Writer-in-Residence (aka WAKWIR) provided the weekly blog post while I enjoyed the best Mother’s Day weekend in the history of my own set of Mother’s Days so far.
It started Sunday morning when the WAKWIR and the Second Grader stood by my bed like dogs waiting to go outside or like cats staring down their owners. (Whichever your preferred pet analogy.)
“Happy Mother’s Day!” they shouted. “We brought you breakfast in bed!”
I was deeply entangled in a weird dream in which I was fleeing across the country, making my way to California, on the run from the law, and stealing from some nice people who were helping me out. I wanted their green t-shirt but was afraid they (the helpers, one of which who looked like Charlize Theron) would recognize it by the hole along the shoulder seam, so I cut the shirt.
Puzzling over that weird logic, coupled with the cat stares followed by the “Happy Mother’s Day!” shriek, peeled my eyes open. Honestly, I was glad to have emerged from the strange dream. Just maybe not at 7:20 am.
Breakfast included a scrambled egg cooked in a cup, chocolate ice cream with two chocolate cookies in a fancy tulip dish, and coffee. All in bed. I don’t remember the last time I had breakfast in bed – if ever. (Candy at midnight, now that’s a different thing.)
Around noon, hubby surprised me with another brunch of eggs, sausage links, and toast. Sausage links! I love sausage links! I can’t remember the last time we had sausage links! In the afternoon, kids gifted me with peanut M&Ms, dark chocolate peanut M&Ms, AND Reese’s peanut butter cups. I couldn't remember the last time I'd raked in that much chocolaty loot for a Mother's Day.
For dinner, hubby grilled steak – a treat in itself because we rarely eat beef. (Get it? “Rarely?”) He and the Oldest even baked an apple berry pie and no one begrudged me the second piece and it went without saying that the very last piece would go to mom.
A few not-to-be-named family members exhibited some crabbiness around 10:30 pm. I teased them that Cinderella's coach was already turning back into a pumpkin and it wasn’t even midnight. I had to cut them a little slack though because, honestly, I don’t remember the last time I had a Mother’s Day that was so absolutely the best this mom could have hoped for.
Also on Mother's Day, I watched New York governor Andrew Cuomo describe his mother as “pure love” and always kind and always loving. That's quite an accolade. And quite the pressure.
While I just celebrated THE BEST Mother’s Day, I try to avoid pursuing "best mom." As nice as the sentiment is, there are times when I am NOT pure love and not always kind. There are times when I think, “I love you, but right now I don’t like you very much.” There are times when I pretend sleep when someone comes and taps me on the cheek and asks, “Mom, are you awake?” I am not always serving and selfless. Just now, I admonished the Second Grader to finish her Czech writing and to finish reading her two chapters in her Elsa and Anna chapter book. My hourly rally cry throughout the house is, "GET YOUR WORK DONE!" Two of the kids bicker about where the moon is and I’m over here typing away, ignoring them, trying to get my own list of things done. That’s the kind of mom I am. Sometimes I engage, sometimes I ignore. Sometimes I’m calm and sometimes I yell. That’s just the truth.
I learned way back before I had kids that there’s no such thing as a perfect mom. In college, I met the mom of two friends who I was sure was the perfect mom. She was so informed, articulate, and knowledgeable about the world. She was always up for adventure, interested and engaged in her kids’ lives, kind to everybody, and was dedicated to her family as equally as she was to her job. She had impeccable manners, impressive social savvy, prudence, and a great laugh.
When I spent time with my friends' mom, all I could see was her shiny halo and angel wings in contrast to all of my own mom’s scruffy parts: not much of a cook, never baked, not into sewing matchy-matchy outfits for us kids, not part of the mom cheerleading squad that followed the volleyball team around to every game. Even though my mom had other redeeming qualities like going for walks with me, listening to my incessant chatter, giving me a car, and supporting me when I decided to take a gap year as an exchange student in Belgium instead of go to college - I really thought my girlfriends had gotten the best pick in the perfect mom lottery.
Then one day, one of the friends complained about her perfect-to-me mom. How her mom hadn't been there for her in the way she thought she should have been, how she was overprotective, how she didn’t listen. Flabbergasted, dumbstruck, shocked, horrified – pick your adjective for my reaction.
That’s when I realized: there’s no such thing as a perfect mom.
A mom should never strive to be perfect because, no matter how hard you try, your kids will find some fault in your personality, your parenting, or both.
That epiphany was a saving grace actually. A real blessing. I came into parenting knowing that, at some point, my kids would decide I had screwed it up in some way or another. And so, rather than focusing on being perfect or "the best", my single aim has been for my kids to see me as a human mom. That I am wholly, completely, unarguably, indefatigably imperfect.
And I am really okay with that.
On This Day
Historic Highlights (credits)
1975 - Junko Tabei becomes the first woman to conquer Mount Everest
The ascent by the Japanese adventurer came 22 years after Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay became the first to reach the summit.
1966 - In China, the Cultural Revolution begins
The publication of the May 16 notification marks the beginning of the political campaign, which was initiated by Mao Zedong and lasted ten years. Its objective was to strengthen communism by removing capitalist, traditional and cultural elements from Chinese society.
1960 - Theodore Maiman fires the first functional laser
The American physicist's invention, an advancement of earlier research by scientists in the U.S. and the Soviet Union, was patented in 1967.
1929 - The Oscars are awarded for the first time
The first Academy Awards were presented at a private dinner with about 270 attendees. Today, it is the world's most important entertainment awards ceremony.
1919 - Albert Cushing Read takes off on the first transatlantic flight in history
The crossing from New York State, USA to Lisbon, Portugal on a Curtiss NC-4 flying boat took 19 days.
The ascent by the Japanese adventurer came 22 years after Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay became the first to reach the summit.
1966 - In China, the Cultural Revolution begins
The publication of the May 16 notification marks the beginning of the political campaign, which was initiated by Mao Zedong and lasted ten years. Its objective was to strengthen communism by removing capitalist, traditional and cultural elements from Chinese society.
1960 - Theodore Maiman fires the first functional laser
The American physicist's invention, an advancement of earlier research by scientists in the U.S. and the Soviet Union, was patented in 1967.
1929 - The Oscars are awarded for the first time
The first Academy Awards were presented at a private dinner with about 270 attendees. Today, it is the world's most important entertainment awards ceremony.
1919 - Albert Cushing Read takes off on the first transatlantic flight in history
The crossing from New York State, USA to Lisbon, Portugal on a Curtiss NC-4 flying boat took 19 days.
Happy Birthday to You!🎶
1966 - Janet Jackson, American singer-songwriter, producer, dancer, actress
1953 - Pierce Brosnan, Irish/American actor, singer, producer
1919 - Liberace, American singer, pianist, actor
1905 - Henry Fonda, American actor, singer, producer
1831 - David Edward Hughes, Welsh/American scientist, co-invented the microphone
1953 - Pierce Brosnan, Irish/American actor, singer, producer
1919 - Liberace, American singer, pianist, actor
1905 - Henry Fonda, American actor, singer, producer
1831 - David Edward Hughes, Welsh/American scientist, co-invented the microphone
Remembering You
2012 - Maria BieÅŸu, Moldovan opera singer
1990 - Jim Henson, American puppeteer, director, producer, founded The Company
1990 - Sammy Davis, Jr., American actor, singer, dancer
1977 - Modibo Keïta, Malian politician, 1st President of Mali
1953 - Django Reinhardt, Belgian guitarist, composer
1990 - Jim Henson, American puppeteer, director, producer, founded The Company
1990 - Sammy Davis, Jr., American actor, singer, dancer
1977 - Modibo Keïta, Malian politician, 1st President of Mali
1953 - Django Reinhardt, Belgian guitarist, composer
Be imperfect, love your family anyway, and make it a great Saturday!
Kim
We love you just the way you are, Kim! Click here for an interesting writer's take on her mother.
ReplyDeleteOne of your best posts. Quite introspective and genuine. But let's not get on the subject of moms with me. Never have been one. Not sure what one "should" be. Only know that everybody appears to have one, even Jesus.
ReplyDeleteThank you, JPS! Just substitute "mom" with "person" and "kids" with "other people" and I think the lesson can still apply. ;)
DeleteYou may not be perfect, but your post is.
ReplyDelete