The Sunday News

 

The Palmville Globe  316/25  Vol 1 Issue 6

Man Receives Tea Consumption Report

Joe McDonnell, 77 and residing in Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently received solid figures on his daily consumption of tea. "I love tea," says McDonnell. "I've been drinking it since I was a child with milk and sugar. One brand of tea tasted the same to me until I visited Ireland and discovered Barry's Tea. Barry's Tea and I must share the same DNA, at least in part. I bought a supply of Barry's in a sturdy metal container that held 80 bags." McDonnell was unable to find Barry's in his local grocery so he ordered a box of 240 bags online. "That was the best deal," he says. "But was I drinking more tea now that my supply seemed endless? Precisely how much tea was I drinking?" He noted the date when he opened his latest shipment and also noted the date when he brewed his last cup. It was a span of 205 days between the two dates. Two hundred and forty bags divided by 205 days equals 1.1707 bags per day. "That seemed too low," McDonnell said. "Of course Barry's is so good, I can get two cups out of each bag."

Man Channels Car Wash Roller Brush

Joe McDonnell, 77, and a fit retiree, was recently shocked when looking in a grocery store's men's room mirror to see his pants, jacket, and vest covered in a thick layer of chalky dust. "My first thought was of an African beast that had rolled in a waterhole then let the mud dry to protect itself from the hot sun," McDonnell told reporters. "I quickly realized I had picked up the dirt while pulling sheets of cardboard from the bed of a friend's truck. The friend told McDonnell he had thought about washing the truck the day before, but had not done it. McDonnell and this friend drive to a nearby city once a month to recycle their cardboard. McDonnell tried brushing the dust off but it had a high clay content. He wet paper towels from the men's room dispenser and made himself presentable. "An old guy came out of the stall and ignored me as he washed his hands while I was wiping down my front. What could he have said? It was obvious what had happened to me and he maintained a compassionate silence."

Squib Cellar

Reefs are dangerous

More so in storm

To see them the better

Let your spirit be calm 

We worry if that if AI gets smarter than humans, it will destroy us. Let’s make AI think it’s a bed bug. Once it destroys the bed bugs, turn it into a cockroach. As soon as it gets rid of all our problems, cancer too, we should unplug it. 

I saw the old Revolutionary War era flag flying in the wind. Does Musk plan to put all  fifty states into thirteen super-states in the name of government efficiency?

There are three unspoken pricing levels in antique stores-

 1 Overpriced- once valuable- no longer wanted

2 About right- the price the item would fetch at auction. 

3 Underpriced- items soon to be trendy.