Sunday News

The Palmville Globe Volume 1 Number 8

Man Transports Concrete Pads to Remote Site

Joe McDonnell, 78 and residing in Palmville Twp, Minnesota recently moved nine 30 lb. concrete pads to a remote building site. "I don't know how remote it is," McDonnell, 78, tells the press. "The building site is only .14 miles south of the house. But everything must be carried in by hand during the wet and muddy season, plus there are two ice filled ravines on the route." McDonnell repaired a long-term slow leak in his wheelbarrow tire and also made use of a heavy duty plastic snowmobile sled to transport the pads in groups of three. "In the sportier sections in the ravines there was some hand-carrying the pads in groups of one," McDonnell tells reporters.         

Man Celebrates Irish Sign

Joe McDonnell, 78 and a fit retiree, told reporters that while taking down his Sláinte! sign, he realized this was the 25th time he had put the sign up and then taken it down again. "The open house for our home remodel happened to be on St Patrick’s Day in 2000," McDonnell says. "My mother-in-law the artist made a sign out of green construction paper. The seven individual letters, accent mark and exclamation mark spelled out Sláinte!, which is Irish for 'Cheers!' The open house was so much fun, we decided to hold it every year. At first the sign went over the archway which required a 7' ladder to install. Lately I've been putting the sign on the front hall wall, which only requires a step stool. I know 2000 to 2025 is 26 years, but we skipped a year during the lockdown. People always ask how to say sláinte: Just say 'Itsalawnchair' quick. Pronouncing 'sláinte' the way it looks would kill a real Irish person."

Squib Cellar

Zelensky started the war with Russia the way Saddam started the war with the US. 

He provoked us.

I no longer even notice when there's no mail on holidays. 

Ten years ago I would have been annoyed if there was no email on holidays. 

Nowadays they’d have to shut down streaming to annoy me on holidays. 

Remember man that thou art dust, bacterial dust at that.  

And unto bacterial dust thou shalt return, on the way to being just plain dust again.

Meditation is waiting at Godsbustop. 

So much about food is psychological. If you think a meal is going to be yukkie it will be, which is why chefs keep their secret ingredients out of sight. 

When I fear I’m having memory issues, I realize it’s just absent-mindedness. I’m like the professor working on some great problem-  like what to have for supper. 

We can spin our anxiety as the virtue of taking nothing for granted. 

As a kid I was too scared to ride the roller coaster. Now that I’m brave enough, I must save my courage for more serious things.