The Fair of ‘24

 

Simple Simon met a pieman

Going to the fair;

Says Simple Simon to the pieman

Let me taste your ware.

Said the pieman to Simple Simon,

Show me first your penny;

Says Simple Simon to the pieman,

Indeed I have not any.

  Simple Simon should have gotten a job at the Fair. Then he would have had many pennies. And pie too. Probably on a stick. You can get anything on a stick at the Fair: hot dish, deep fried Snickers, even beer, well..., little cups of beer on a paddle.

  Teresa and I have fantasized about working at the Fair. We would opt for an early six hour shift with some kindly vendor in a leafy corner of the Fair. Minimum pay is only $11.00 but that's negotiable. And there's the tips, plus the vendor covers your admission to the Fair, so there's an $18 bonus right there.

    So we'd be free by noon. We'd have the rest of the day to explore all the nooks and crannies of the Fair. Up to now we've only spent a single day each year at the Fair. We make sure to hit our favorite spots: the Fine Art building with its amazing artwork by Minnesota artists, the 4H building with exhibits that cancel the myth that young people are going to hell. Teresa used to stay in the dorms upstairs when she was showing her dairy cows so the place holds warm memories for her.

  The 4H building triggers a visit to the immense animal barns. The kids there are either cleaning up after their animals or having a game of cards on a hay bale. The cows, pigs and chickens in the barns don't look especially good to eat, but we forget that when they've been put on a stick and properly fried by the clever vendors. The corn on the cob stand is a must. Corn was the original food on a stick.

  There's a big grandstand with cutting edge performers every night, but we never go there. That's for young people who have actually heard of the performers. There's plenty of free music all day at various venues by the less well known or the formerly famous. Listening is a good chance to take a break from all the walking required. The fairgrounds are only 322 acres in size, one half square mile, but it seems much larger when filled with a quarter million people on the weekends. The Fair is the one time I ignore my grandfather's adice to go the other way when you see a crowd gathering.

  The crowd at the Fair is a happy crowd, a jolly crowd, but would working at the Fair spoil it for us? A job would require a twelve day commitment. Maybe we shouldn't mess with the magic. Though if we worked at the alligator-on-a-stick stand it would be all the reptile we could eat. We'll have to digest that thought.  

Take time to smell the blooming onions.