Sunday Squibs

 

When storing leftovers, I pick the smallest container I think will work. My punishment for guessing wrong is to eat what doesn’t fit. 

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When I don’t think something is funny, people always say, well, you should have been there. Well I’m here right now so this damn well better be funny. 

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An administrator works crazy hard to build a lean and mean company. Flush with profits he hires a bagful of administrators to share the work. The company grows fat, flat and left in the dust.

 

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Your candidate won. Congratulations!  The elevator to your personal hell has paused for the moment.

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The poet presents the lyrics and the rhyme. The reader provides the music. 

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I’ve quit multitasking. It’s takes too much time to fix my screw ups. Next I need to give up multi-thinking as well. 

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Many interview articles have a note at the end saying “edited for clarity” when they should say, “altered for clarity”. 

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With age it’s tempting to sink into the background, as into a bed of quicksand. But that dangling vine is alluring too. 

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Anger, envy, gluttony, greed, lust, pride,…and… I’ll think of the last one later. 

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Looking at an eclipse is like looking into the meaning of life. You need a filter to protect your vision.