I did a search on Youtube for the world's funniest joke. The first thing came up was an advertisement for the Wall Street Journal. It was kind of funny, I guess, but not really what I was looking for. It encouraged me to get great rates by subscribing now, which if you know me is funny...but not really a gut buster.
 |
| Not really my cup of tea |
After the advertisement came this long description of what makes a joke funny, followed by what was claimed to be the funniest joke ever. It was okay, but I think I can find a funnier one. See what you think here.
To see if I could find some very funny jokes, I turned to Reader's Digest. There are stacks of them around my Mother-in-law's house, but it was easier just to look them up online. Here are some of my favorites:
1. A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
2. In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths. One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.”
3. One of the oddities of Wall Street is that it is the dealer and not the customer who is called broker. (I guess they should have subscribed to the Wall Street Journal. Avoid their mistake by clicking here.)
4. A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, “Hey, they named a drink after you!”
“Really?” replies the grasshopper. “There’s a drink named Stan?”
5. A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
Those are pretty good, but are they the best? A read them to my cowriter (a chihuahua named Luv) and he didn't even break a smile. I figured that I needed more research...and a less demanding cowriter. According to the unbiased people at Ranker.com, the funniest comedian of all time was George Carlin. Then, after more research I came up with what I considered to be Carlin's funniest joke ever. Enjoy.
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."
I have to admit it made me smile a bit, even though I wasn't sure what it meant. My wife got it, but she said it would take too long to explain it to me. I guess that shows me what half she is in!
Maybe the funniest joke ever is just too dangerous to share. This documentary shows the dangers of too much humor. I was a lot more serious after watching it.
So stay safe! Avoid jokes that are too funny. That is why my jokes are always middle of the road, not very funny Dad jokes.
The day Kennedy was shot, I was in high school. We were sent home and as we went down the stairs we met a teacher with his briefcase. This teacher never joked, but he said, “I just got back from Dallas.”
ReplyDeleteWe use humor to relive stress. The teacher violated the 17 day rule in the first video but he was probably more stressed than us.