Skip to main content

I See You: A Mother's Message

Hello and welcome to Mother's Day Eve, the Saturday before Mother's Day, here at the Wannaskan Almanac. Today is May 8th.

On this Mother’s Day Eve, I’ll be spending the day with my own mother who I haven't seen in nine months. Knowing that many of you will be visiting your mothers virtually or spiritually, I feel incredibly blessed to be able to see my own in person.

I’m equally blessed to have eager kids who can’t keep secrets or wait for surprises because on Wednesday this past week, the Mother’s Day presents were already getting doled out. (Who am I to curb their enthusiasm?)

The Third Grader gifted me a succulent planted in a brown-painted Styrofoam cup (to make it look like a plant pot, she explained). The Kindergartener had a bag of candy he eagerly ripped open. “Is this for me?” I asked. “I don’t know,” he answered. Then he said something about a piñata (I still don’t have the full story) as he divvied the Tootsie rolls up among his family members. He announced that he had a plant at school that he would be bringing home on Friday.

On Thursday, the Third Grader slyly slinked into the house and placed a large, bright purple, pink, and teal paper-mâché flower in a matching vase on the coffee table in the TV room. “Is this for me?” I asked. “Yeeeees,” she answered, her voice shy, her eyes shining with delight. Even my husband uttered my favorite words, “I have a surprise for you,” and, like Santa Claus, pulled a package of cookies and a ginormous, yellow 38 oz. bag of peanut M&Ms out of a large, white fifty-pound sack leftover from his beer brewing grain. Yes, folks, it’s not even Sunday yet, and it feels like Christmas.

And I am happy. Not for presents – but for presence. (A phrase one of my aunts particularly enjoys.)

The pandemic has taught me something about mothering and it is this: What my children need most isn’t “I love you,” but “I see you.”

Yes, love is important, too. But the kids already know that I love them. The teenagers remind me of this regularly. “I love you!” I call out, as they head off to school, to which they call back, “I knooooooow,” their voices drifting over their shoulders, their eyerolls too far away to see but I know are there. 

But do I see them? That is the reassurance they crave the most.

And not just looking at them, because I am usually pretty good about putting my face in their general direction when they are talking about their day, or friends, or homework - but really seeing them.

Yes, my dears, I see you.

To the Kindergartner – I see your smallness and cherish it. The last of my littles, I enjoy your little hands and feet and that sweet innocence and earnestness in your face. I look into your eyes and notice the shade of blue in your eyes looks gray and when the sun sparkles there is a fleck of aqua that reminds me of my own father's eyes. It’s true, like any parent, I get easily distracted and have a lot on my mind, but when you place your hands on my cheeks, turn my face and implore, “Mom, full-body listening,” I silently thank you for the reminder and give you my all.

To the Third Grader – You are the embodiment of love. If love could look like a person, it would be you. Your dark brown eyes filled with passion, determination, and worry. Hugs are your anchor and when I embrace you I imagine filling your being with a lifetime of hugs. Like your favorite animal the cat, you curl your body into mine, wrapping your arms around my waist reminding me of my own girlhood pleas of “Hold me, rock me, cuddle me,” which I am more than happy to do.

To the WAKWIR* – Towering above me, I see your goodness. Through all the Minecraft chatter, I sift and discover your interests, your strengths, your personality. You have the gift of gab like your mother and woo that wins me over. I see your bounce, but I also see your depth. Your mind soberly churns and turns as you read the newspaper, follow the tweets of your favorite YouTubers, and think about the issues plaguing the world at large.

To the Second Oldest – I see your struggle. As you sit on the cusp of adulthood, I see your worry and uncertainty. I see the affliction of choice – to do what is right. I see that you need me now just as much as you did when you were a toddler. Maybe more.

To the Oldest – I see you loving your life. I also see those dark circles under your eyes and am ready to catch your tears when the stress of finals week hits you. I see your drawing talent and believe that your artistic gift will fold easily into your engineering pursuits.

To the cats – I see when you’re hungry and when you want to be scratched behind the ears. Or left alone. I see you are old and that our time is limited. So, yes, you can come inside the house. Fur and all.

To my husband – I see how parenting drives you crazy with worry, frustration, and love. Don’t worry. I’ve got your back.

To other parents – We are in this together. I see you try. I see you worry if you are doing enough. Our successes and failures rise and fall together. I see the community we shape in this next generation. 

And feel optimism for their future.



On This Day

Historic Highlights (credits)

1984 - Moscow announces that the USSR will not take part in the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles
Several other countries, such as Cuba, Afghanistan, Bulgaria, Ethiopia, East Germany, Hungary, Poland, and Vietnam joined the boycott. Four years earlier, the United States had not sent any athletes to the Summer Olympics in Moscow.

1978 - Reinhold Messner and Peter Habeler climb Mount Everest without oxygen supply
Prior to the Italian and Austrian mountaineers' ascent, it was thought to be impossible to conquer the world's highest mountain without supplemental oxygen.

1970 - The Beatles release the album Let It Be
The recording was the last studio album ever released by the legendary English rock band.

1927 - The White Bird and its crew mysteriously disappear
French aviators, Charles Nungesser and François Coli, had taken off from Paris in their Levasseur PL.8 biplane in an attempt to make the first non-stop transatlantic flight. Their disappearance remains a mystery. Charles Lindbergh succeeded two weeks later.

1886 - Coca-Cola is invented
According to legend, Dr. John Styth Pemberton, an Atlanta pharmacist, produced the syrup in a brass pot in his backyard. It was first intended as a patent medicine. Today, Coca-Cola is one of the world's most popular soft drinks and one of the most recognized trademarks.

Happy Birthday to You!🎶 

1970 - Naomi Klein, Canadian author, activist

1945 - Keith Jarrett, American pianist, composer

1926 - David Attenborough, English television host

1911 - Robert Johnson, American singer-songwriter, guitarist

1884 - Harry S. Truman, American colonel, politician, 33rd President of the United States

Remembering You

1990 - Luigi Nono, Italian composer

1988 - Robert A. Heinlein, American writer

1903 - Paul Gauguin, French painter

1891 - Helena Blavatsky, Russian scholar, theosophist

1873 - John Stuart Mill, English economist, civil servant, philosopher

 "See" your loved ones and make it a great Saturday.

Kim 



* Wannaskan Almanac Kid Writer-in-Residence

Comments

  1. Thank you for the journey into your heart and into the hearts of your favorite people from smallest to tallest.

    ReplyDelete
  2. A great reminder that every day is Kid's Day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ohmigosh, that is SO true! Ha! Good thing I have a birthday, too! :)

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

19 July 2021 – Grace & Melancholy

Melancholy is the Happiness of Being Sad “Traveling into the human heart . . . is a good recipe for melancholy,” Ann Tashi Slater tells us in her article, “ Japan and the Happiness of Melancholy ”. Impermanence. Transiency. Change. We all know these are conditions of life. We live with them constantly. We sincerely, sometimes madly, hope that the desirable in our lives will stay, and just as fervently, that we can avoid the unfortunate. We can’t. They won’t. But we mostly resist the reality of the way the world works. Many desperately hang on to other beliefs. The rewards after death. Reincarnations into other beings and always, always, the escapes into addictions, work, and overload of chosen and involuntary activities. All this wears on us and typically causes varying levels of sadness, usually hidden behind anger, despair, and hopelessness. The culture of Japan has a way of coping with this unhappy way of living. Honor and lament melancholy; find the bittersweet in sadness. Cherish

10 May 21 Guest Poet: Hayden Saunier Dog & Horse etc.

Hang on to your terza rima!  Batten down your poetic hatches! If you haven’t read Hayden Saunier before, you are in for a treat, a few shocks, and perhaps – just perhaps – a seismic shift in your idea of what poetry can be. Horace would not approve. Fortunately, I suspect that Ms. Saunier has enough grit not to care. My fellow writers frequently label me as a poet of the dark side. I retort that I am not Gary Larson’s half-sister. Ms. Saunier, however, could definitely be his relative, without the sense of humor. Consider the third poem, first – “The One and the Other.” What a mix of pixie dust and unyielding rope! The paradoxes reign, and readers must puzzle out the twain.  As regular readers of these Monday posts know, I am more than fond of poems about animals, so I’ve included one about a dog and one about a horse. But these poems are so much more than encounters with our fellows. They are the stuff of mystery revealed. POEMS Hayden Saunier 14 Degrees Below Zero in the Grocery Stor

Whales, Chickens & Eggs

Hello and welcome to a decidedly snowy Saturday. Folks, today is November 14th, and I think it's safe to say winter is here to stay. On this day in 1851, Moby Dick debuted in the United States. Why this classic gets a starry-eyed word like "debut" is beyond me. I have tried reading Moby Dick and it took me only a few pages before I landed, like a beached whale, with a sandy thump on the shores of exasperation. Maybe I should have stuck with it. Probably. No doubt, my Wannaskan Almanac colleagues would have plenty o' good to say about the great tome, but at this moment in time, I remain skeptical. My book club once selected  Ahab's Wife which looks at the great Melville tale from a different point of view of Una, Ahab's wife. I made an earnest attempt, optimistic that if I could read this book, perhaps it would bring me back to the real Ahab and his whale-seeking vendetta-quest. Alas, but not regrettably - I'm just not there yet - I didn't get very f