Wannaskan Almanac for December 22, 2020...Short People All Matter

 The average height of an American male is 5 feet 9 inches.  Me...if I wear thick socks I can make it to a whopping 5 feet 7 inches.  This made me think.

The following is completely made up biased bull crap...which could easily be used on CNN.  

As a slightly undersized male, I have come up against all kinds of bias.  For instance, I have been turned down by every NBA team, many without even a tryout, all due to my short stature.  My lack of practice and conditioning had nothing to do with their lack of enthusiasm toward giving me a gigantic salary.  It was all based on my lack of height.  

In school, I wasted all my time reading History books.  Then, when a science test came up I flunked it.  This was obviously due to teachers who were unwilling to base their science tests on what I was studying in History.  These teachers exhibited a systemic bias toward those of us (okay, it was only me that liked History) who were history buffs.  I am sure some sensitivity training would have helped these teachers, but back then nobody cared.

Another episode of obvious systemic bias directed toward me was when I went to modeling school.  I wasn't there to be a model.  I was there to pick up models.  Unfortunately, all the 6 foot plus ladies with long, slender legs seemed to overlook me somehow.  I mean, all they would have had to do was to tilt their heads slightly forward and they could have seen me!

I remember getting pulled over by the police for "speeding" a couple of times.  As I sat there...humiliated...several cars full of taller people drove by while the police officer seemed oblivious to them.  I thought to myself that we should defund those biased coppers!

I could go on, but you have likely already decided that I have been a victim.  None of this is my fault (of course) and so I have come up with Short People All Matter...or as it is better known as...SPAM.  Under the banner of SPAM, I have decided that for anything that goes wrong for us short people, we will burn Utica to the ground.  

If you would like to join our protest (maskless...no matter) we will be assembling in every city on February 30th of each year.  Last year we were easily able to walk under the barricades that were set up to stop us.  So join us...and together let's blame someone else for what we could work to change on our own!   

By the way...black lives mattered to me long before they became a movement.  When I say all lives matter, I actually mean it!