Into the Naked Forest
Loping across the Forest Road
no complicated moral code
Exquisite danger
and the Brown Bear
fishing from the pebbled patterns
at the border of the burnished stream
fur dripping the smell of pink fish gasping
silver slivers of fishbones cracking
delicate as filigree
heads tossed high without bodies
Naked becomes those of fur and fin
They hold no dread of what’s within
the unshriven, unholy, sunken places
on the shores of the great unknowing
lie the patterned places stone on stone
no one under the canopy breathes alone
Forest floor burdened by eight-inch paws
padding certain
hidden by the pine trees’ curtain
Feet a-feather wings of clay
Bear throat asunder has her say
stuffing pink to red by degrees
pillaging the finned nation
addressing suffering’s cessation
Well, very early on I was called, "You Lil' Stinker," by my parental units and sometimes by a sibling. I'm not sure if it was said in terms of endearment or divine inspiration. I never thought of it as a totem. Hmmm, but it could be.
ReplyDeleteAs those name callers around me aged, and I myself had somewhat grown larger to some degree, I was called "You Li'l Shit" referring, I presume, for it was n'er explained, by someone taking note of my bowel activities and probably concerned about my personal well-being as inter-tribal health is a natural predisposition toward individuals who may affect the health of all those in the immediate vicinity.
Consequently, my name evolved, as did the functions of my body, to "You Shithead." It was used so frequently, I accepted it because I had forgotten my other name I was given at the naming ceremony, for this name was totally 'mine', and not a common vision-quest inspired name. The only time I may have felt 'out-of-my-head about anything remotely associated with it, would be those two week stints of constipation when I couldn't think straight.
Not being a very important person, I was never called "Big Shit" as one would expect, although, for equally strange reasons I've been publicly referred to as, "One-Who-Thinks-His-Shit-Doesn't-Stink."
Concurrently, I've been told by certain individuals, "You-make-me-feel-like-shit," an apparent skill I've unknowingly wielded at will and only wish I could control. "No shit," I just heard you say.
Saying that, I have compiled, my own website associated with references to my name that I can share with 'Who gives a shit," -- and not only her, but everybody in the world as well. Here you go: https://www.phrases.com/psearch/SHIT.
Thank you for this platform to express my 'stuff' here (I'm in therapy).
Hi there, you Crazy Shit. (Note respectful capitalization.) Yes, you are welcome to use this platform any time the muses move you. And thank you for also leaving a comment on the "large black bear," which I will read a soon as I finish this reply. I am sorry to say that I could not access your compilation at the URL you gave - just a site that ha A-Z phrases. Let me know where I went wrong. Is it on your blog, perhaps?
DeleteYears ago, a large black bear presented itself at a distance maybe 150 yards from where I stood. It was early evening. I had the wind, that is to say it couldn't smell me, nor see me although we were both in plain sight of one another. A person with me encouraged me to shoot it, as we were bear hunting; the reason we were standing there at all, but I was hesitant. I had never shot a bear in my life nor had really wanted to. I couldn't foresee eating one, except in starvation. And I didn't have anything to prove; I wasn't a warrior having to test my courage against even greater threats. Participating was merely a rare opportunity that I had never had before nor ever sought; I was just new to the community up here and wanted to fit in.
ReplyDeleteUsually bear hunting consists of 'hunters' putting out bait piles of garbage in the woods and shooting the biggest bears that come to it. To me it seems, unfair; what chance does the bear have? What huge challenge is it for the hunter?
That evening we were standing on a township road north of the Nording (?) Church. I add the question mark because I'm unsure of the local name for it. We didn't use bait. We had been told that bears cross the road north of the church in the evening and so two of us stood off the road there, and another hunter was a great distance away somewhere else.
The man with me had tugged at my sleeve, as he had been watching a different direction than I, and motioned ever so slightly to me to look his way. And there a good-sized bear stood, all black and shiny, totally oblivious to us.
I had read a lot of about bears when I was growing up. Many of the stories were about bear encounters by people not hunting bears; sometimes they were merely hiking through bear country and happened upon a bear who then rushed them, rather than run away. They were exciting stories; not often did the people fare well.
Knowing that, I chose not to shoot. I was sure I could hit the bear, for I was a good shot back then. But I wasn't sure that I could kill it with one shot. Bears aren't deer; they're heavier in all respects. Attempting to kill one shouldn't be taken lightly. Perhaps it'd drop like a stone but perhaps it wouldn't and then what?
Not only would the bear suffer, but it would likely rush forward into the brush where it thinks it would be safe, and all the bear stories I ever read, said a wounded bear was a very dangerous animal. I didn't want to risk 'us', for we'd have to go into the brush after it as darkness was coming on. I have too good of an imagination to eagerly take the trail of a wounded bear and worrying about where it was in relation to our positions to it. Off the trail and behind us in waiting? Playing dead in a heap? Rushing us straight on?
The other two guys chided me about it for a few days, but I think they knew it was the right decision. "Makwa" (Ojibwemowin for bear) didn't know any different. I did.
I have spoken to a few bears since then, mostly words of warning. We have videos of bears almost on our doorstep, nosing around under bird feeders and around our house. I have shot rifles over their heads to scare them away -- one night I even barked like a crazed dog and slapped the siding on our house to scare three out of the portion of our yard they had decided to invade. Now I even carry a sidearm when I'm out in our woods -- just for a lot of noise.
Aha! Thank you for this bear post. You reveal aspects of yourself that I have barely known about you, until now. Bear in mind how many years we have been friends. You are such a care-bear that I really must bare my soul at this time. I can’t bear the thought that I might die wearing a threadbare robe, and not have shared this with you. Bear with me while I organize my thoughts; rest assured; I will reveal the bare facts.
ReplyDeleteMakwa: Here's something I've barely told anyone, but this seems like a good time to bare my secrets. I couldn't bear it if I kept from you what I'm going to share now. So, I’ll bear the burden of revelation, and tell all. Bear is one of two of my totem animals. Raven comes first due to my received name, White Raven, given after a sweat lodge vision. I barely understood what a totem animal was then, but these two animals taught me well. I can bare witness that totem animals are as real as you and I. Some folks will call me barely sane, but if and when such doubters choose to stand bare and naked before the magic of the universe, they can barely ignore the truth.
Bear up, my friend. With writing like yours, and your sense of humor in the mix, we will always have writing and bears as common interests. As the Three Bears said, this state of afbears is “just right.” -- From the Bear-Forest . . .
I like this poem and I remember when you had that bear encounter.
ReplyDeleteWhat you say is so true about remembering where you saw something wonderful (or scary or whatever strong emotion it drew). I still look for the owl south of Camp that I saw in early October last year.
Thanks for your art and insight!