Tueeeesday. Get it? I will explain later.
The word of the day is ukeke. I am sure that my friend Bob will know what that is. The rest of you...mainlanders...will have to read this whole thing before you discover what it is. No cheating. I can't have you scrolling down and looking up the answer. As a matter of fact, I have inserted a virus into this document that is activated if you scroll too quickly. Okay, I didn't, but I wanted to. It isn't that I don't like you dear reader. It is just that so many people get so impatient anymore. It drives me crazy. I have learned to be patient. I have waited almost 25 years for my wife to tell me that it is time to get a Harley. Any day now...
I spent a month in the Wannaska area a little while ago. I did a lot of fishing, and the fishing was good. Seems like the last week of May through the end of June is the best fishing up on Lake of the Woods. This is just one of the beauties that I pulled in.
I also helped some old folks with some tasks like moving stuff and lawn work. This left me with a severely injured back and painful ride home, but also made me think of how hard it must be for people older than me to get through their daily work. There is nothing wrong with helping out an older person. A bad back is a small price to pay for doing the right thing! By the way, thank you to my doctor for getting me back (heh heh) together! He does such a great job I thought I would give him a shout out! Thank you so much Doctor Pick! I appreciate how he gets my spine in line!
Have you figured out what a ukeke is yet? If you live in Hawaii you might have a better chance at guessing! Oh my, I am off task. I am supposed to be writing an almanac entry. So far this has been about nothing. Like Seinfeld. Before I get more off task I will transport you to an amazing place, a place where the old folks that I was helping have been replaced by me. I now send you to the future! The following almanac entry is from the year 2050. Prepare to be amazed.
The Wannaskan Almanac for July 17, 2050
Today I had an opportunity to talk to some people about one of the darkest times in Wannaska history. The person who I talked to is one of the survivors. As I interviewed him I could see the scars that he bore from this trying time. Of course I am talking about the great mosquito drought of 2018.
Mike Hagen remembers the mosquito drought well. The following is in his own words.
"I remember. I sure do...just like it was yesterday. We had big plans that summer. I had stocked my shelves with Off and Cutters and Skin so Soft from Avon. I figgered it was gonna be just like every other year. We had tilled up over a hundred acres and planted it with mosquitoes. It was wet and the conditions were great. The little mosquitoes proboscis were just startin' to break through the soil. It was looking like a bumper crop. An' then the rain just up and stopped. Oh sure, a few of the little guys were harvested and set free to suck the blood out of the residents of Roseau county, but it wasn't enough. Sales of mosquito repellant dwindled to about nothing. I ended up plowing up the field again about mid-June and planted it with barley. Barley! Barley can't bite you. It can't suck your blood. All those people staying out all night and drinking beer and not getting bit by mosquitoes was hard to watch. It was like living in Kansas or Florida. It was terrible."
The next year the mosquito harvest returned to acceptable levels. Bug spray sales returned to normal. But nobody forgets that horrible year of mosquito free hell.
Anyway, that whole lot of drivel is just to tell you that there was a lot less mosquitoes than usual up in Minnesota this summer. It was actually quite nice...except for the mosquito farmers!
What is a ukeke? Well, it is the only instrument native to Hawaii. Here is a video of one being played.
Why did I spell Tueeeesday like this? I was thinking something like Tuesday with More E's. Or Maury. It was a joke, just like all of this almanac so far. But what is not a joke is that I really would like a Harley before I get too old to drive it. I am including this link for my wife or anyone else who wants to start a go fund me page for a middle aged Harley desiring man.
If you absolutely hated this almanac entry, you can email me at www.gofundme.com/harleyforJohn (this link will require a sizeable donation) or if that doesn't work try ffefreekshow@hotmail.com. I promise to never text while motorcycling!
The word of the day is ukeke. I am sure that my friend Bob will know what that is. The rest of you...mainlanders...will have to read this whole thing before you discover what it is. No cheating. I can't have you scrolling down and looking up the answer. As a matter of fact, I have inserted a virus into this document that is activated if you scroll too quickly. Okay, I didn't, but I wanted to. It isn't that I don't like you dear reader. It is just that so many people get so impatient anymore. It drives me crazy. I have learned to be patient. I have waited almost 25 years for my wife to tell me that it is time to get a Harley. Any day now...
Have you figured out what a ukeke is yet? If you live in Hawaii you might have a better chance at guessing! Oh my, I am off task. I am supposed to be writing an almanac entry. So far this has been about nothing. Like Seinfeld. Before I get more off task I will transport you to an amazing place, a place where the old folks that I was helping have been replaced by me. I now send you to the future! The following almanac entry is from the year 2050. Prepare to be amazed.
The Wannaskan Almanac for July 17, 2050
Today I had an opportunity to talk to some people about one of the darkest times in Wannaska history. The person who I talked to is one of the survivors. As I interviewed him I could see the scars that he bore from this trying time. Of course I am talking about the great mosquito drought of 2018.
Mike Hagen remembers the mosquito drought well. The following is in his own words.
"I remember. I sure do...just like it was yesterday. We had big plans that summer. I had stocked my shelves with Off and Cutters and Skin so Soft from Avon. I figgered it was gonna be just like every other year. We had tilled up over a hundred acres and planted it with mosquitoes. It was wet and the conditions were great. The little mosquitoes proboscis were just startin' to break through the soil. It was looking like a bumper crop. An' then the rain just up and stopped. Oh sure, a few of the little guys were harvested and set free to suck the blood out of the residents of Roseau county, but it wasn't enough. Sales of mosquito repellant dwindled to about nothing. I ended up plowing up the field again about mid-June and planted it with barley. Barley! Barley can't bite you. It can't suck your blood. All those people staying out all night and drinking beer and not getting bit by mosquitoes was hard to watch. It was like living in Kansas or Florida. It was terrible."
The next year the mosquito harvest returned to acceptable levels. Bug spray sales returned to normal. But nobody forgets that horrible year of mosquito free hell.
Anyway, that whole lot of drivel is just to tell you that there was a lot less mosquitoes than usual up in Minnesota this summer. It was actually quite nice...except for the mosquito farmers!
What is a ukeke? Well, it is the only instrument native to Hawaii. Here is a video of one being played.
Why did I spell Tueeeesday like this? I was thinking something like Tuesday with More E's. Or Maury. It was a joke, just like all of this almanac so far. But what is not a joke is that I really would like a Harley before I get too old to drive it. I am including this link for my wife or anyone else who wants to start a go fund me page for a middle aged Harley desiring man.
If you absolutely hated this almanac entry, you can email me at www.gofundme.com/harleyforJohn (this link will require a sizeable donation) or if that doesn't work try ffefreekshow@hotmail.com. I promise to never text while motorcycling!
You're not fooling me, 'ukeke' is slang for cucumber, and what that yahoo was playing on the video link you included, was, if anything, just a long-handled mouth harp. Never understood its appeal, has anybody else?
ReplyDelete"Twang, twang---twang, twang, twang, twang, twang." Sure to put yer toes a tappin'!
I've got to say, you Kanzaznians are a wildly imaginative people--especially when it comes to fishing in Minnesota--for although saugers sorta look like walleyes, nobody, except somebody from 'Kanzaz', would brag about catching one. Is there even a possession limit on them? Aren't they an invasive species?
As for Wannaskan Mike Hagen growing mosquitoes, that's preposterous! Everybody 'round these parts knows he raises only biting black flies and red oozy welts and has for years. Anybody worth their repellent knows 'Miguel The Pagen', wouldn't waste his time trying to grow mosquitoes. He dabbled in them of course, just like he did deer and horse flies, in his early days, but he quickly learned that neither had the curb appeal that biting black flies and red oozy welts have. He's legend.