Sunday News

 

The Palmville Globe Volume 2 Number 12

Man Repairs Goggles

Joe McDonnell, 79 and residing in Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently reglued the foam on his ski goggles. "I don't ski," McDonnell tells the press. "We get our exercise by walking on the road. The prevailing wind is from the northwest and if it's a cold day my eyes start to water which I don't like. I always bring my ski goggles along, but they're old and the foam liner has been coming loose from the google body. The foam slips down which allows the wind to get at my eyes. I didn't know if Gorilla Glue™️ was the right glue to use. I know some glues can dissolve foam, but it seems to have done the job." McDonnell has put his googles away now till next winter. "I have trouble coming up with things for people to get me for Christmas. Maybe this year I'll ask for ski googles, and I'll put the pair I fixed into the winter emergency kit in my car trunk."

Man Gives Car Review

Joe McDonnell, 79 and an experienced driver, recently gave a review of the car he was driving. "I was going into the grocery store when I was stopped by a man who asked how I liked my vehicle. It was my son's vehicle and I had been mostly occupied with figuring out how to operate the radio. The man asked if the car was quiet and how did I liked the ride. I admitted I didn't have much experience with this car and told him we liked the model we drove at home. He said he had driven that model for years and was looking for something different." In a later communication McDonnell says he should have offered the man a quick test drive. "I was in a hurry that day," he says. "If he's serious about this model he can get a test drive from the dealer."

Squib Cellar

Humor is on a broad spectrum. At one end there’s funny strange. In the middle there's funny haha. And way over on the other end there's - as one cannibal said to the other, “Does this clown taste funny to you?”

We go into the other room so Alexa can’t observe us, as the aristocrats once stuffed cotton in the keyhole so the servants couldn’t watch. 

The pop up comedian must have many punchlines ready for whatever reality pops up. 

Bad cop/good cop dialog back at the station house. 

Bad cop: "Dammit Good cop, you keep letting the perps go."

Good cop: "Dang it Bad cop, you keep killing them."

Illusions are limitations 

Like strings on a balloon

Hang on forever

Or let them go soon

The earlier we get up in the morning 

The bigger the bag of gold dust we have to spend on the day. 

To know thyself  

You can not do it

It can’t be done 

You must intuit