Sunday News

 

The Palmville Globe Volume 2 Number 10

Man Repairs Natural History Exhibit

Joe McDonnell, 79 and residing in Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently glued the telson back onto the carapace of a horseshoe crab. "I found this baby horseshoe crab on a beach on the east coast. They are very fragile when dried and should be kept in a safe place, but I like guests to see them," McDonnell tells the press. He says he wasn't surprised when the long telson or pointer broke off the body. "It was tricky gluing the telson back onto the carapace or body because the parts are so light. I used a light duty rubber band to hold the carapace to a block of wood, dabbed a small amount of Gorilla Glue™️between the carapace and the telson and rested the end of the telson on another block of wood and left my repair overnight. It's now in a safe place in my museum." McDonnell reported later that people think the horeseshoe crab uses its sharp telson to stab the soles of people walking in shallow water at the beach. "That's a myth," he says. "The horseshoe crab uses the telson as a rudder to steer itself as it moves across the sea floor. Horseshoe crabs have existed for 445 million years. They've survived the Five Great Extinctions and now just want to be left in peace."

Man Gives up on Hand Soap Bottle 

Joe McDonnell, 79 and someone who likes to use things up, recently dismantled a 14 ounce bottle of Johnson Parker™️ hand soap. "I don’t know where we got the soap. It could have been a gift. We put it by the sink in the guesthouse so I wasn't using it often myself. When I did use it, the soap came out of the plunger in thick green glops that refused to lather up. This happened in the winter when we keep the guesthouse cool if no one is staying there. But moving the bottle to the main house did not improve things. Most of the soap had been used so my wife added some water and shook it up. The plunger had grown stiff and now the watery soap shot all over the sink area." In a follow-up email, McDonnell says he removed the plunger and used the few remaining few milliliters of soap to wash his hands. The bottle has been recycled, but the plunger had to go to the landfill. "I feel bad for all the past guests in the guesthouse who had to struggle with this less-than-perfect soap," he says.

Squib Cellar 

By the time we finish high school we've lost the instructions for life.

Meditation provides a light to find and read them by. 

Old age is my new inebriation.

I'm most energetic right after waking up, which is why I take naps as needed.

The number of yeses you get from God will increase the more people you add to your prayer list.

As soon as I get one section of the ego smoothed out, I move on to the next messed-up area. No time for selfies. 

I may have valid excuses when things go wrong, but I save my breath when I find others are using me as their excuse. 

A language is like a city. You can only learn so much from the guide books. 

To really know a city you must work there awhile.

My goal is to revisit the intensity of childhood while transforming any fear into trust.