Sunday News

 

The Palmville Globe Volume 2 Number 4

Man Makes Cost Risk Analysis 

Joe McDonnell, 78 and a resident of Palmville Township, Minnesota, recently learned a valuable lesson while traveling with his grandson. "By the time we arrived at our lodging, my grandson had already changed the fifty dollars that his other grandmother had given him into the local currency and was running through it like the prodigal son. He saw a vending machine with a granola bar right on the verge of falling into the pick-up compartment. He decided to put in two coins worth a total of two dollars, thinking to get two granola bars for the price of one. But nothing happened. He pushed the return money button. Nothing. Our subway train pulled into the station and we got on. Then the train stayed in the station with the doors open. Our grandson and his father returned to the machine and started pushing buttons. The rest of us also left the train. Stay with the group is our motto. The equivalent of two dollars in eight small coins dropped into the return change compartment. Our grandson scooped them up and we hurried back on the train just as the doors closed." McDonnell stated later that there was a lesson to be learned from this incident. "I just can't put into words what it is," he says.

Man Has Figurine Returned

Joe McDonnell 78, and an avid traveler, unknowingly lost a small figurine while traveling with his grandson. "The figurine, which belongs to my grandson, is two inches tall," McDonnell tells reporters, "with removable arms, legs and head. 'Kevin' is his name. My grandson's second figurine is named 'Max'. Kevin enjoys quiet games while Max prefers something more turbo with matching sound effects. Before we headed to a large outdoor market, my grandson put Kevin in my jacket pocket. It was raining so I didn't expect any figurine action in the market. Later, my wife asked if I knew where Kevin was. I reached into my pocket and he wasn't there. Before I could panic, my wife held him out. The weird thing was, my wife had been trailing 100 feet behind us when she heard something fall on the ground. It was Kevin!" In a follow-up email McDonnell says he came up with the theory that Kevin was trying to run away with the fish monger at the market. "I'm sure Kevin was sick of having his head and limbs torn off by Max," he says.

Squib Cellar

DNA is called the instruction manual for the body. But so much of DNA is still not understood that it’s better to call DNA the Bible of the body. 

The old Jubilee year in the Bible in which all debts were cancelled every fifty years was spoiled by everyone gaming the system. 

Sign of inflation: clerks no longer get mad when I try to break a hundred. 

The good thing about the narrow path to salvation is that if you fall off into the abyss, you always land back on the path though possibly going the wrong way.

Where is AI on the spectrum?

AI a perfect copy of the spectrum. 

I'm too sophisticated to lick out the bowl.

Unless it's the guacamole bowl.