Sunday Squibs

 

There are no guy-cologists

GPs see either sex

But women have a specialist

Their plumbing is complex

I still panic. But in old age I panic slowly.

It's speed that kills.

I pay no more attention to my past deeds, good and bad, than the snake does to its cast off skin. The mice will eat it up.

In Heaven I’ll be able to take the passcode off my phone. 

The plague was once a huge problem

Now it’s just a vague worry

There’ll always be poverty says Jesus 

We can fix it if we but hurry

Lives saved by seatbelts: a very good thing 

How many click just because of the dings?

As your friends all get older 

(Please take your pick)

There’s no excuse for not making

Visits to the sick

Some people compare life to a game

Though this simile really can’t please- 

In real life the stronger will bring

To the game their own referees

I have many top priorities 

I work hard as any lug

Until it’s time to party

Then they’re swept under the rug

Be the waves ever so wild 

We can always walk towards Lord Jesus

Keep the faith and we'll find in the light

We’ve only sunk up to our knees-us

First do no harm

If we all took that oath

We'd bury the hatchets

You and me both