Wannaskan Almanac for Tuesday, February 13, 2024 A Transmission from a Burrito

I kid you not.  It is February 13, and if you search for February 13 in google one of the first stories that comes up is February 13 Florida Man.  If you are like me (I pity you...get help!) you can't help but click on that important link and you will find a story about Burrito Man and his assault on his woman.  Now I must say that no man should ever hit a woman...but come on...a burrito?  I mean, what are you going to eat?

Here is the link to the story.  In his picture you can see that he certainly looks like the kind of man who would lift his burrito against a defenseless lady.  I am sure he is spending hard time now.  I am confident he spends his time fashioning burritos and tacos to attack the prison guards with.  

I haven't gotten censored yet, so I will press on.  Can you envision the thought process in this hapless loser's mind?  I figure it went like this.  He gets home.  It is the day before Valentine's Day.  His girlfriend is heating up some burritos and chattering about what she has put in his Valentine's Day stocking.  He realizes that he hasn't got her anything and is kind of confused over whether or not her Valentine's Day stocking traditions are legit.  They get into an argument which turns into a food fight.  They quickly run out of popcorn and whipped cream so he grabs a burrito and the rest will be shown on the First 48.

Brought to you by Taco Bell

I would go on with this story but I am being eyed kind of warily by the legal team at the Wannaskan Almanac, so I will switch gears.  Did you know that gears are a type of simple machine that have been around for thousands of years. They help machines work by transferring power from one part to another. The first gears were used in a device called the Chinese South-Pointing Chariot around 2700 BC. This device had a gear that would turn a directional arrow so it always pointed south, no matter which way the chariot turned. Aristotle, a famous philosopher, mentioned gears in his writings around 400 BC. He described gears as capable of reversing the direction of momentum. Leonardo da Vinci, an artist and inventor, also drew sketches of gears around 1500.

By the 1600s, scientists and engineers were figuring out how to use gears for more complex tasks. They developed mathematical concepts like velocity ratios and involute curves. In the 1800s, the first machines for mass-producing gears were invented. These machines allowed gears to be made faster and more accurately. In 1897, Herman Pfauter invented a machine that could cut both traditional “spur” gears and helical gears. This invention helped move drive gear production forward. Over the next hundred years, machines for designing, cutting, and manufacturing gears became even more advanced.

Gearing up for a burrito fight

All this is said to get to this point.  Apparently my wonderful old truck is having transmission trouble.  If you would like to donate to the Hot Coco repair my transmission or I will burrito your face fund, contact your local Wannaskan Almanac representative.  

Thanks, and have a wonderful day before Valentine's Day.  PS...don't cook burritos tonight!