Wannaskan Almanac for Tuesday, February 6, 2024 February Fractured Facts

Finally...more fractured history!  You asked (Mom) so I will try my best to destroy the important things that happened on this day!  Enjoy!

1778 France recognizes USA...in a police lineup.  "That is zee garcon who stole my purse," France shouted excitedly.  Then France stuck up their nose and pretended they were better than the rest of the world for the next 250 years.  

1840 The Treaty of Waitangi is signed between 40 Māori Chiefs (later signed by 500) and representatives of the British crown in Waitangi, New Zealand. The treaty was designed to share sovereignty between the two groups.  To consummate the treaty each signer took a bite out of it.  

Treaties...it's what's for dinner

1862 American Civil War: Naval engagement on Tennessee River, USS Conestago vs CSS Appleton Belle.  Their engagement lasted 4 months and they were finally married in 1863.  They divorced two years later.  

1869 Harper's Weekly publishes 1st picture of Uncle Sam with chin whiskers.  This ended their long standing partnership with Schick razors.  Rumor is that Aunt Samantha and Uncle Sam were the same person up until this happened.  

1894 Bottle opener patented by William Painter.  Paint opener was patented by William Bottler a few days later.  Three years later they discovered that they had been switched at birth...which only makes sense.

1902 Young Women's Hebrew Association organizes in NYC.  The song YWHA is not received well by local disco enthusiasts.  

2024  Readers of the Wannaskan Almanac sue the document for parading obviously fictional history in front of them.  The Wannaskan Almanac responds by rebranding as the Almanac from Wannaska...and then walks around with their nose up thinking they are better than the rest of the world for the next 250 years.