Sunday Squibs

 

Google is nice when it finds the answer to our question. It’s naughty when it tries to sells us something else when it can’t find the answer. 

When aliens attack earth the fight will be mental 

What must we do these demons to hobble?

We’ll sic Siri on them. She will not be gentle

Sling them back into space, their saucers a-wobble 

Jesus told us to take up our cross, yet he was given help to carry his. But as he was beaten by the cops after his arrest and condemned to death by a mob in the morning, he was due a little help on his way to execution. 

I love my party’s slogan

I put it on my bumper

My rival’s crazy slogan though

It could not be more rumper

When her kids come home acting silly, mom smells their breath for gummies. 

There is no utopia, not socialist or commie

Profit’s the thing 

With nets holy to sling 

For Harry, Dick and Tommie

If you’re super proud of your Irish or Swedish heritage, sign up for Ancestry.com and gain four or five more nationalities to celebrate.  

I drowned all my sorrows deep into the night

But the body turned up with the dawn’s early light

I stayed at a place with no WiFi 

If this was a test then I failed 

Like a plug that is pulled from the mouth of a babe

Oh how I wailed and I wailed

Some people abuse their devices

I treat mine like a service animal