Why? Why? Why?

Hello, and welcome to a pretty nice summer Saturday here at the Wannaskan Almanac. Today is July 10th.

If there's one thing that delights a child but drives a parent batty it's the infinite loop-question "Why?"

-"Hey, kiddos, rise and shine! Time to get dressed."
-"Why?"
-"Because it's morning and it's time to start the day."

-"Why?"

-"Because we have a great day planned! We're going to go outside, go to the library, go to the park, get groceries..."

-"Why?"
-"Well, because it's summer, and we should take advantage of the few warm days we have here in Minnesota, and it's fun playing outside, and the library's always an adventure, right? And we need food  to fuel ourselves, right?"

-"Why?"

-"To which part?"

-"All of it."

You see where this is going.

In the grown-up world, the incessant why is transformed into a value-adding tool for business. The 5 Whys is a legit problem-solving exercise that helps teams get to the root cause of a problem. 

-"Why are customers unhappy with our products?"
-"Because they fall apart."
-"Why are they falling apart?" 

-"Because the plastic that the parts are made out of gets brittle and breaks."

Why? Why? Why?

I am even a fan of Simon Sinek's Golden Circle which puts "why" at the heart of understanding what drives a business and then aligns this profound proclamation with customer loyalty which inspires and spurs to buy. (Think Apple and Subaru. I mean, I've got two Subarus, and, honest to goodness, it warms my heart every time I hear, Love. It's what makes a Subaru a Subaru.)

This past week, my admiration for "why" got turned on its head when I watched an interview with Michael Bungay-Stanier, founder of the company Box of Crayons and author of The Coaching Habit, which I'm also reading. His call to action is to "stay curious longer" and to ask questions - lots of questions (he's got seven main ones) - before dispensing advice.

Then he dropped the bomb: "I don't like asking why."

My ears perked up. Because I work with writers who are trying to tell a story, getting down to the bones of the "why" is seminal in writing a great piece.

Why do you want to write this story?
Why this story now?

Why does your character want what he/she wants?

Why? Why? Why?

MBS went on to explain that "why" is a slippery fish. Sometimes we don't know why, we just know. Why is too big or too elusive to articulate. It turns out, however, that what we can do is ask smaller, more specific questions using the other question words which have the potential to unlock the why.

When did you first get the idea for this story?
How does this story connect to today? 
Who does this story impact?

What is the real challenge your character is facing?

The concept intrigued me, so I decided to test it out. On the kids.

Everyone's home and with the days of summer stretching into a lovely, languorous and lazy stream of carefree timelessness - "unstructured playtime" as the experts call it - comes ample opportunity for conflict.

Kid: "MOM! She hit me!"
Me: "Why did you hit your brother?" 
Inquisitive Researcher Me: "What were you talking about just before this happened?
"What were you doing up until that moment?"
"And what else?" (Note: This is the AWE question from Bungay-Stanier's 7-question list.)
"Were you able to get what you want by hitting your brother?"

The results?

Surprisingly positive.

I learned that "why" is the knee-jerk response; the easy question. But it's not necessarily the question that helps people get from Point A (their present state) to the Point B state they desire. But "staying curious longer" does. 

Tempers simmered as did the vocal volume. Nailing the specifics was akin to being heard and I know from studying nonviolent communication and reading parenting books that when a person feels heard, they get their need for acknowledgment met, and when a need is met, the need goes away.

And, most surprisingly, the "why" didn't even come up.

It may have taken a few minutes longer to ask the other questions, but the outcome led to an overall increased sense of calm and cooperation in our household that, I feel, evolved over the week and spilled into a pretty relaxing, conflict-free Saturday.

And who doesn't love that?

On This Day

Historic Highlights (credits)

1985 - Greenpeace ship, Rainbow Warrior, sinks

The ship was in harbor in New Zealand when it was bombed and sunk, killing Fernando Pereira, a photographer who was aboard the ship. It was found out later that French government operatives were responsible for the incident.

1967 - New Zealand adopts new currency

The New Zealand pound was replaced by the New Zealand dollar. The denominations of the new currency followed a decimal system.

1962 - Telstar, the world's first communication satellite is launched in space

The satellite, made by a collaboration between organizations in the U.S., the U.K., and France, transmitted the first live television images in the world.

1940 - Battle of Britain

The German air force or Luftwaffe launched an air campaign against England. It was one of the first battles during the Second World War fought entirely between air forces and it ended a few months later with a British victory.

1913 - Death Valley, U.S experiences the highest temperature ever recorded on Earth

Measurements showed that the temperature had reached a whopping 134°F or 56.7°C!

Happy Birthday to You!🎶 

1980 - Jessica Simpson, American singer-songwriter, actress, fashion designer

1949 - Sunil Gavaskar, Indian cricketer

1871 - Marcel Proust, French writer

1856 - Nikola Tesla, Serbian/American physicist, engineer

1509 - John Calvin, French theologian, pastor

Remembering You

2015 - Omar Sharif, Egyptian actor

1920 - John Fisher, 1st Baron Fisher, Sri Lankan/English Admiral

1584 - William the Silent, German son of William I, Count of Nassau-Dillenburg

649 - Emperor Taizong of Tang

138- Hadrian, Roman Emperor

Stay curious longer and make it a great Saturday!

Kim