Wannaskan Almanac for July 27, 2021 Words of Witsdom

I only broke the tip off my pencil once.  It seemed pointless to do it again.

Putting herbs on your belt can be a waist of thyme.

Whenever I am sad...you're there.  Whenever I have problems...you're there.  Whenever I go off the deep end...you're there.  Let's face it...you are bad luck.

Wanna get slapped quick?  Someone at the store called my wife a pig.  I told my wife, "Don't let that bother you, babe."  

It is hard to make a quote about chemistry...the best ones argon.

It is hard to read the symbols at the top of an obelisk...they are higher oglyphs.  

When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.  

England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

Let me tell you about my grandfather. He was a good man, a brave man. He had the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Had to punish my chihuahua...that little uncle biter bit my aunt.

Teach a man to fish, and you can sell him a ton of accessories.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; Teach him to use the Internet, and he won't bother you for weeks!

Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day, but give him a case of dynamite and soon the village will be showered with mud and seaweed and unidentifiable chunks of fish.

Give a man a fish, and you satisfy his fish craving for a day. Give him fish aversion therapy, and you eliminate the craving for life.

Give a woman a fish and you'll be sleeping on the couch again.

Give a man a fish, and he'll wonder what you want from him.

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