Wannaskan Almanac

We’re delighted when the weatherman promises a spell of fine weather. But stormy weather’s always on the way if we look far enough into the future.  We think the adherents of certain religions are being duped. While the adherents themselves tell us to tend to our own salvation.  The perfect taco shell should have a neutral taste and the shatter-resistant texture of edible cardboard.  If we can’t read our spouse’s mind, we should at least learn to read their lips.  I was shocked to discover that fruit juice has almost as much sugar as Coke. I now feel less guilty drinking Coke.  While searching for a vaccine, scientists should be working on affordable electron scanning microscope glasses so we can see the little barstiches coming.  Chairman Joe  

Good morning and welcome to Memorial Day Weekend Saturday here at the Wannaskan Almanac. Today is May 23rd. Monday morning the Wannaskan Almanac Kid Writer-in-Residence (aka WAKWIR) woke up and, still groggy from sleep joined me in the kitchen. Now, my son has Slavic features similar to his dad's and well, he is 14, so he's in the midst of his own "changes." However, on Monday morning, his face seemed a little different. As he made his way to the kitchen, I noticed he had a thick black uni-brow, a black twirly mustache and smart goat tee on his face. My guess was permanent black marker. "Your face!" I shrieked. He was as surprised as I was. “I’m going to break him,” the WAKWIR vowed. "Him" meaning his older brother, although there still has been no confession. Curiously, instead of washing his face – which is what I would have done immediately upon discovering added bonus features to my face – he sat down to his computer. It turns out he ...

I know spring has begun when my colleague WannaskaWriter, who hereafter will be referred to as Steve, contacts me that he's stuck. I drop everything and run over to his place to help. I'm a bit of an expert at getting vehicles unstuck using little more than a jack, some chunks of wood, and an old tire or two. I learned my skills while working for an impetuous German industrialist who had bought up thousands of acres around Badger and up in Kittson County. He bought the land as a hedge against a possible Soviet invasion. Herr G. would look out his window in Berlin and if it wasn't raining, he'd order all his tractors out into the field. Of course we got stuck right away because Badger and Kittson County are soggy places compared to Berlin. I drove a big four-wheel-drive tractor with a huge implement behind. When stuck out in the boondocks, I was on my own. I had to get my handyman jack under the tongue of the implement to relieve pressure on the hitch pin so I cou...

                                            A Switch of Dialogue For those of you who aren’t aware, Richard Wayne Penniman, better known as Little Richard, died on May 9, 2020 at the age of 88. He was an American singer, songwriter, and musician. An influential figure in popular music and culture for seven decades, he was nicknamed "The Innovator", "The Originator", and "The Architect of Rock and Roll." I’ve included several links to various videos of Little Richard performing the first of which is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OfhmVmhL7s , from the 1956 film, "Don't Knock The Rock," which introduced the world to Little Richard and “Long Tall Sally.” “If parents hated Elvis, they must have thought Little Richard was Satan! -- Videobeat dotcom. Sept 23, 2012 I r...

And here is the Wannaskan Almanac for Word-Wednesday, May 20, 2020, the 21st Wednesday of the year, the 141st day of the year, with 225 days remaining. Nordhem Lunch: Closed Earth/Moon Almanac for May 20, 2020 Sunrise: 5:35am; Sunset: 9:06pm; 2 minutes, 21 seconds more daylight today Moonrise: 5:02am; Moonset: 6:58pm, waning crescent Temperature Almanac for May 20, 2020                 Average           Record           Today High             65                   93                  80 Low              43          ...

If I left this blank, Would anyone ever know? If I kept one word inside would the world be forever changed? But then again If I speak everything I think will it even be heard? Or will it be too much too crazy too self-serving will it be one of those silence is golden thingies? Should I seek a balance talking and listening sharing and receiving? But then again everyone else is wrong and we never change our minds not on politics or religion or a host of other statues we have erected in our minds. Don't you know how important it is to have the proper condiment on your hot dog? The fine art of pretending to listen is the cause of a world of curses. I don't write poetry very often.  The main reason is because it is art, and I am not an artist.  Perhaps if I did poems in crayon... I will return to my sarcastic ways next week.  I promise!

Diving deeper into magic territory, the main character understands both Dragon and dog languages, and they understand human speech. Curiouser and curiouser. Down the rabbit hole. The white rabbit. Suspending disbelief. All these are necessary approaches to what comes next in our story. Now I hear the dragon’s language clearly                                     and dog’s meanings are simply understood                                                 as if unexpectedly thoughts translate             ...