Sunday News

 

The Palmville Globe Volume 2 Number 24

Man Repairs A/C Unit

Joe McDonnell, 79 and a resident of Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently repaired the air conditioner in the guest room in his son's house. "We had arrived at our son's house while he was out of town," McDonnell tells the press. "It was during a heat wave and he had ordered a stand alone a/c unit for our room and asked us to install it, which we did. Instead of using clamps to hold the clothes dryer style vent tube in place, we had to first screw the tube into the back of the a/c then stretch the tube out and screw it into the window outlet. The a/c did its job until the early morning of the third day when the tube popped off the window outlet, circulating hot air into the room. I shut the a/c off and in the morning we screwed the tube back into the outlet." In a later communication, McDonnell says he saw no practical way to make a permanent fix to the tube falling out problem. "It rained that day and the a/c was not  needed for the rest of our stay," he says. 

Man Challenged by Shower Options

Joe McDonnell, 79 and far sighted, recently visited a retro motel. "My wife and I are staying at a variety of motels during a cross-country trip," he tells reporters. "I was surprised to find a bar of soap in the bathroom in an older place we stayed. Most motels have gone to hand soaps in pump bottles. I'm fine with that but it's problematic for me in the shower. Instead of bar soap and little bottles of shampoo, there are now wall-mounted dispensers of liquid soap, shampoo, and conditioner. The brand name is always in large print but the words 'shampoo,' 'body wash' and 'conditioner' are in tiny print. I always forget to read the tubes with my glasses on before getting in the shower and I end up making my best guess. The liquids seem to be interchangeable. "In a follow-up email, McDonnell says he also often forgets to put a towel within reach before taking a shower. "After a long day on the road, I'm not thinking ahead," he says.

Squib Cellar

We don’t bother remembering jokes because we’d also have to remember which joke we've already told to which audience. 

Recent sign in front of bar:

“Eight big screens"

“Watch US Play Bosnia-Hertzogovinia”

Twenty-five years ago it would have said: "Watch US Bomb Bosnia-Hertzogovinia.”

I think therefore I am - Descartes 

I stink therefore I am - Pepé Le Pew

I drink spinach smoothies therefore I yam - Popeye

Leprechauns are the Yeti of Ireland. 

It's typical of the Irish to turn something scary into a joke.

God’s face is too bright to look at. We must not seek relief in darkness, but look to see what’s being illuminated. 

Bill Murray was stuck in Groundhog Day until he learned the meaning of love. 

The Catholics have purgatory for the same purpose and the Buddhists use reincarnation.