The Palmville Globe Volume 2 Number 25
MC Arrives At Banquet On Time
Joe McDonnell, 79 and residing in Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently learned that the banquet he was scheduled to be master of ceremonies at was to be two days earlier than he thought it would be. "This annual awards banquet is always on a Thursday," McDonnell tells the press, "but this year the venue was only available on Tuesday. I had been told that, but then went on a three week trip and forgot the change of date. I was mowing the lawn at home on Tuesday when I got a call reminding me that the banquet was that night. I put the mower away, changed clothes, reviewed my banquet notes, and drove to the venue." In a later communication, McDonnell said he is not comfortable in the MC role. "I was kind of forced into the position," he says. "Maybe if I failed to show up one time, the awards board would find someone to replace me."
Man Brings Mower To Shop
Joe McDonnell, 79 and a former mechanic, recently opted to bring his mower to a mechanic. "Several years ago, the belt that turns the mower blades started popping off the pulleys," he tells reporters. "Putting the belt back on the pulleys is tricky, but I got good at it during the year I researched the problem on YouTube. It's run fine ever since I got to the root of the problem, but when it popped off again I called a local small engine mechanic. I don't want to spend another year on research." In a follow-up email, McDonnell says he has an old mower he can use till his newer one is fixed. "If that one breaks down, I have a guy I can call who'll bring his mower and mow our lawn at a reasonable cost, so I'm not too worried," he says.
Squib Cellar
If we assess God as “normal,” then the rest of us, advanced mystics excepted, are more or less demented.
It’s wise to wonder WWJD
But first we must not do WJWND
Homo sapiens will adapt to global warming.
Some of us will be heat seeking snakes and lizards.
Others, on the night shift, will be hoot owls and scorpions.
What3Words find Love:
Erotic: wildest
Compassionate: hardest
Filial: sweetest
We only see a tiny slice of the light on the electromagnetic spectrum.
If we could see it all, we could catch a glimpse of God.
Absolute power corrupts absolutely
This absolute rule does not vary
Natural powers, earth, air and sea
Destroy every wielder unwary
WWJMND?
ReplyDeleteThere was a time you wouldn't dare him.
DeleteJGMcD is a natural MC, don't kid yourself. Truly, he may have forgotten the venue date, we can allow him that (He's old) but floundering in front of a crowd? No way. Here is a guy that can initiate conversation with any stranger he's apt to meet around the world, and will likely use a conversational style with a room of 3 people to 300 just to get his bearings 'reading the room'. He can tell dozens of Irish jokes, recites sonnets and, accompanied by someone on a bodhran; sings when he has to. He can talk religion, politics, world news, sports, cite obituaries -- did I mention he can tell stories? And don't get him started on the history of England. He's a natural MC.
ReplyDelete